I Feel Like A Horrible Person.

I feel just awful.

So I think I have a problem. I meet a guy, befriend him, lead him on, then crush his soul. I don't mean to, but it just happens.

And then last night was totally trippy. I don't know what I was thinking... Apparently, I have suppressed cravings. Ha ha, funny how things kind of changed a bit today :P

But the day gets weirder. So today was day two of pre-mini band camp... and after guard was done practicing, we noticed that the band was still playing well after 7:30. So we watched them dance/play stand tunes... and I had this horrible feeling in my stomach. Like, this mostly felt nostalgic. I mean, the last two band camps I spent devoting 30% of my brain to guard, 20% to anything not related to guard, and 50% to him. So it was kinda of weird to be in this band camp setting and not stare longingly. I got over it quickly, but the feeling was just... bizarre. Actually, the last three band camps apply to the previously stated statistics. I guess this change is good?

And lastly. On my way home from guard, Vanilla Twilight came on and I cried on the way home. Why does this song bother me so damn much?!

xx This Is My Elegy Marz