Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Missing Something.

I'm not gonna lie: I'm happier than I ever thought I could be at this point. Things have been generally going well in life and I have a lot to look forward to. But part of me can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something, or some things. Prom might have been different. This school year might have been different. This coming school year would DEFINITELY be different. I dunno, I don't mean to be thinking that way, but it's on my mind sometimes. Lots of things are on my mind.

College definitely won't be how I always imagined it. Things are just gonna have to be different from everything else. My college time won't be like Jamie's. It'll probably line up more with Heather's, but it's still not gonna be a thing like hers. It's just an odd situation to be in and now that it's getting closer and closer to the actual "hey it's time for college!" date, I'm starting to realize how hard it's gonna be.

But then I look at myself and say, well wait a minute, I don't exactly fit the college stereotype. That college lifestyle isn't really me anyways. I guess I am more of a just hang out in my room and work sort of person. I guess I am a goody goody after all. Get shit done, work hard, reject harmful things... Damn. Might as well take class online. I don't want to deal with meeting people and end up meeting a shit ton of creepers. I mean, I want to meet people and make new friends, but I attract a weird crowd. It's like I have a creeper magnet on me, or a "If You're Significantly Older Person, Then Please Talk To Me!" sign on my forehead. What is it with people? I try so ahrd to reject the world and it keeps fighting against me. Shit, I don't even know where I'm going with this.

I need to stop thinking so much. Whatever, life's a bitch, people are asshats and love to get in my way, new life is gonna blow, and I've got much bigger plans for after college. Goodnight.

xx If There's A Prize For Rotten Judgement, I Guess I've Already Won That Marz