I figured earlier that I was relapsing, but it was confirmed tonight while I watched The Royal Affair, which was absolutely astounding. I fell in love with Johann and Caroline's romance and cried at the end. I never cry at movies, so I figure that three mood swings over the course of one movie must be a bad sign.
Oh well, welcome to the rest of my life I guess. Periods of peace and then relapse, then back to peace and the circle starts again. It's funny because all while watching The Royal Affair, I was trying to pin point what mental illness Christian had, and hell, he could be bipolar. Makes me wonder what I look like to other people.
It's just been a rough day. I'm understanding things and making connections, but it's still not enough. I'm parked diagonally in a paralell universe. I'll be happy when the crying stops. I'll also be happy when the trazodone kicks in early and doesn't keep me up til four.
Although I noticed something interesting today that I do. When I reach a mental point of complete and total distress, all thinking ceases and all I can do is focus on a random song in my head until I calm down. It's like my brain is shutting down on its own temporarily.
xx Don't Throw Your Life Away For My Sake Marz
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