Let's open up with the spoken lyrics of El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge. That sums up tonight, doesn't it.
"First there is desire
Then... passion!
Then... suspicion!
Jealousy! Anger! Betrayal!
Where love is for the highest bidder,
There can be no trust!
Without trust,
There is no love!
Jealousy.
Yes, jealousy...
Will drive you... mad!"
Why do I even try. I was dishonest once and it destroyed everything. When I'm honest now, nothing seems to ever be okay. I feel like I can't win or even find anything to sacrifice so that I lose. I'm tired of crying, then feeling content and loved, then going back to crying again. It's like the girl in the movie said earlier, being schizo or bipolar is one of the hardest things in a relationship. I just have no idea what to do if there isn't any trust in me. That was probably the most hurtful thing I've heard in months. I have no idea where to go from here.
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