You know, this is the first Halloween I've had in four years. And oddly enough, I just can't enjoy it. Couldn't put together a decent class-friendly costume, couldn't find the appetite to eat, and I can't find the will to stay awake. Not to mention Dorothy and friends are going to parties tonight, which makes me feel weird. It's like, I have a lot of work to do, and I just don't feel right at a party. I don't want to get shitfaced and find myself in a situation. I don't like people, and I don't trust people. But I feel like I always turn down Dorothy's invites to social events, which makes me think she sees me differently. I dunno.
I'm just not in a good mood. Maybe it's the layers of powder and eyeliner in my eyes, or something else, but I just feel like having a good cry/sleep. It's been a hard day of cold sweats, upset stomach, heartburn, and irritability. All I ate today was a burger and fries and some Starbucks, so I don't know. It's like I'm craving something, but I don't know what.
I don't want to do design work. I want to read A Rose In Winter and forget my problems.
xx Take Me Home To A House On A Hill Marz
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