You Think You Ruined Me

But you didn't. I can still watch the movie and wear my shirts and love it just as much as I always have. In that sense, you didn't ruin what I love.

You just ruined everything else.

xx I Won't Show Up On Your Doorstep On Sunday Morning Marz

Happy 600th

Damn blog, you're getting old.

I don't know, I'm in a funny mood. Kind of no shits given sort of mood, no desire, no drive, and perpetual feeling of being dizzy. I had a fun day and night, so I don't know why I feel so shitty today. Probably just the off week.

A thing we're always working on in therapy is the never fading sense of guilt and self blame. Those are probably the things holding me back the most from getting anywhere, and it keeps gnawing at me. They say it's time I forgive myself, but I can't bring myself to that. No one should ever be in that situation, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, or ever want to experience it again. But until the feeling goes away, I have a hunch that I'll still be stuck.

Why can't things just be this easy.



xx He Was Bound To Love You When He Heard You Sing Marz

Another Sleeping Day

After staying up til 5 AM, I had a weird day that consisted of napping for four hours, then staying awake for another three and a half, then napping for two more hours and finally getting up to start the day at around 3:30 PM. Oh well, in my defense, it was raining.

It was a moderately average day that started with getting new meds at the psychiatrist and ended with Wingstop and drawing and Beauty and the Beast. Both movies, the first and the Christmas one. I think it's about time to go sew or something, since I have no more need to be on the computer.

I picked up The Heir again since I had time to kill in Wooten today and got sucked in just like I did the first time. I canNOT get over Westhaven's jackass ways and how sweet he turns when he sees Anna, and how much she pushes him away but loves their interludes together. Gahhhhhh. I love their story. Heir to the dukedom falls in love with the housekeeper... possibly cliche, but god the way they love each other just makes me feel so happy. I already read half the book in the span of three hours. I could read it again and again...

 

And then while I was on my Beauty and the Beast kick earlier, I found this on tumblr. Hmm, so that's what my future child will be like. I'm okay with that. Except that my kid would have a much better dress than the one you buy in the Disney store. Let's be real here.

xx Shatter Me With Hope Marz

Webber Wrote My Life

Yep, after today this scene is all I can think of.

Yet while he lives, he will haunt us til we're dead. Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live? Do I become his prey? Do I have any choice!

And in a mildly similar tone, and also one of my favorite trios ever,


In other news, I can't believe that since I've ignored this site, Anette had another baby.

xx But Either Way You Chose, He Has To Win Marz

I Feel Like A Princess

There's something magical about sewing a dress I've always wanted to make for... years. With the magic of Balckmore's Night guiding me, I'm able to finally create the Renaissance dress I've always envisioned myself in. Funny thing is, when I designed it oh, six or so years ago, I'd have never dreamed that I'd be buying the fabric today to make it.

Damn, I designed that. And damn, I'm making it. Although now I've decided to change the underskirt to black and the accents to light green and gold, it's so real. Even my hair was in that same low ponytail today. It's like, this day was meant to be.

While looking for this gem, I came across many other pieces from as far back as 2006. Jesus. Things I actually wore...

And then things I wanted to wear, or wore for a theme or an event...

I'm starting to see a bit of a trend here. I love how the first one with the Angel logo shirt has my bangs parted correctly... the rest are how I see myself in the mirror. I also love how I shaded my colored hair, although I must say it's much harder to see on the Mac's fancy ass display. I also wasn't very good at dolling yet... I was understanding skirt hems. I wish I could credit the basemakers, but I know two of them are offline and the others I couldn't even being to tell you where I got them from.

Hello blog, I missed you quite a bit. It's been hell without you, but I'm back.

xx But Guess We'll Cry Come First Of May