I realized it especially today.
I have extreme difficulty in acknowledging special days, such as birthdays and Mother's Day and Christmas. It's really hard for me to simply say "Happy Birthday!" to someone... and I have no idea why. It feels awkward. Kinda like how it's tough for me to call people by their names if I'm speaking directly to them.
I wish I knew why. Maybe I have some sort of paranoia about abnormal things that aren't typical. I feel sort of odd sometimes, short of words and fumbling. There's actually a few words I have trouble saying, not that they're bad words or anything, just words that never come out right.
When I go through my phone book and scroll past that psychiatrist's name, I always get the urge to call to set up an appointment. I'd like answers. I'd like to talk. But I'm too scared.
xx The Ray Of Night Embraces My Mind Marz
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