I'm Done Buying Dresses

The last two times I bought dresses intended for a night out with my boyfriend, they end up dumping me a few days later. Is this the start of a trend?

What scares me most is his horoscope from yesterday. While I was reading it out loud to my friends, we all kind of laughed at how tragic it sounded. It literally said that now was the time for him to end a personal relationship with someone. Then everyone placed bets on us and how long we'd last, ect.

Then the afternoon rolls around.

At this exact frozen moment in time, I don't hate him. Like last night when we were texting, he sounded sincere in making sure that if I needed him for something, I could ask. He also said that he was sure I could find someone less mellow than him to make me happier. Then I thought of our strange means of how we met up, and the thought scared me. Not to sound dramatic, which I'm not, but bluntly, there's really no one at school I find dateable, unless, like Karl, they're just people who I've never seen at school before, but have been there all the time. And I know there's so many more fish in the sea, but I liked him. I thought we were seriously gonna get over that rough patch and have a whole new perspective on each other. Yeah right.

But I don't hate him. In his logical mind, he's doing what's best for him and what he thinks would be best for me. Sometimes I wish he'd ask before making these assumptions, but maybe he's right. Maybe I really am too idealistic. He sees windmills, and I see giants. And I guess since we never see each other at school, this will be fine, because I can "get over" him faster. But I'm kind of already over him, I guess. Gosh, that sounds so harsh.

I'll never forget our time together. He's got so many huge goals and he's absolutely brilliant and an amazing guy. He's got a passion and pursues it, and knows how to treat a girl. He's a great catch, but I guess not the right one for me.

Oh well. I hope that if I run into him at Canes, things are ok. They should be. I'm totally fine. So fine, I'm painting.

xx We Were Barely 18 When We Crossed Collective Hearts Marz