Talking To Karl

Was great!

Not gonna lie, though. I've been nervous about it all day. I was mostly scared that he'd corner me with his logic, but shockingly, he stayed really silent and actually saw what I was saying. He understood me. He did bring up some things that made me cringe, but I got over it and told him how I felt and what I thought of the situation.

Things went by well. He told me exactly what I wanted to hear: that he felt bad about breaking it off so suddenly. I shouldn't have gone to Canes on Tuesday, though, because he said that based on how he saw me with my friends, that kind of changed his mind for the worse. Dammit. But you know, that's just how I am with my friends. We're all different with different people.

What kind of made me sad was that he brought up his ex and how she set the bar so high. Well I'm not her, and no one's gonna be her. But he says he just wants to be single right now and I'm fine with that. He said maybe soon we might date again. And I think he sincerely meant it, because he brought it up a few times. "Whether or not your next boyfriend is me or someone else..." I dunno, things went well. I told him I don't hate him, and he doesn't seem to hate me, ha ha.

I went into today knowing these things:
- He wasn't going to take me back today
- He was going to assume something about me
- Things would be ok

And I was right about all of them. Even though I denied some of it, the assumption he made about me was pretty much true. He's so good at analyzing people. He said that I'm wishing he'd take me back, but in my mind I know it won't happen anytime soon, but I'm not gonna give up hope. Which is true. I really like this kid, and he knew it. He said he could tell I liked him a lot.

So we ended the serious conversation by ensuring that things would be ok and neither of us wanted the other one gone for good. Then we just talked about all the other random shit in our lives, ha ha. Just hanging out and laughing like we used to. He even initiated a hug goodbye, which totally took me by shock and I welcomed it very much :)

He says things are gonna be ok, probably better this way. And things will keep getting better. And all I can do is trust him at this point, and hope for the best for both of us.

xx Marz