Still Depressed?!

Ugh, why am I still depressed!

Today was... odd. I dunno. I guess it started in guard, where Scott sat us down and gave us another winterguard chat and reviewed yesterday's work with us. Naturally, I got super discouraged when I couldn't get the ending toss out right :/ It's totally cool when the sucky sophomore can toss perfectly and I can't even get it high enough to not hit me everytime. I need to work harder! I'll get that toss even if I get an arm full of bruises in the process!

Then in math we didn't do anything, except watch a movie about discovering the moon. Bo-ring. I instead pulled out my sketchbook and practiced my writing and drew in the dark. Yes, I have to admit: I'm obsessed with gorgeous penmanship. It's a weird feeling to write when you can't see what you're doing... you feel the words :)

But then art kind of sucked. Shelley was upset with Mrs. K and I got struck with a huge wave of empathy and felt awful for her. Everyone's feeling this terrible burn out :/ I sat down and diligently painted my Lenore memorial, Old Man's Child pounding in my ears, and sadness in my heart. I don't know why I was sad, though. Nothing terribly awful was happening in my life... I was just sad. And I still am. I have a headache and I'm so sleepy and just ready to close my eyes and not wake up til it's time for school. Ideally, not wake up until the late hours of the afternoon, but life's a bitch.

I wish I knew why I'm feeling randomly sad all the time. Maybe it's because it's November, and that was rough for me last year... who knows. I just want this to all go away. I want to jump into my fairytale and never have to come back.

xx Her Spirit Wild, Heart Of A Child, Yet Gentle Still And Quiet And Mild And He Loved Her Marz