One Month Down

Yep. It's been one whole month of alone.

I'm not gonna lie, though. I sure do miss love. I miss kissing, I miss hugging, I miss walking. I miss talking. I miss it all.

Oh well. It's nice now that I have someone to text all night with. Well, almost all night, but still. Enough to distract me. See, when I read books, I forget everything that's around me and I focus solely on the plot, the characters, ect. But lately I've been making bracelets like crazy and when I work on those, I do nothing but think: what I love, what I hate, what I want, what I need to do. I think about everything and everyone.

So while sitting in Web Mastering today after finishing my assignment early, I got to work on my current bracelet and started thinking. In the end, I felt like a piece of furniture. I was just sort of... there. Part of the decoration. Comfortable and used most of the time, but before I knew it, I was getting buried under piles and piles of junk that created the great divide (Tarja reference). That's how I can compare to the last few months. I told Jamie... I bet she thinks I'm nuts.

And not to sound bitter or mean or anything, because I'm saying this very matter-of-factly, but it's kind of always about you. You were the one that decided when I was over you. No sir, I'll decide that. You were the one that when I said "Why don't you do this with/for me?", you said that I was criticizing your "unique way of being a boyfriend and comparing you to other boyfriends". Well ok, but no points for cop outs. And we aren't to talk until you decide we're ready, or so you said six days ago.

I dunno. I don't mean for that to be taken the wrong way, but it really is the truth, now that I look back. I'm sorry.

On a much lighter note, I went to Barnes & Noble today to find 'The Bell Jar'. While I couldn't find it, I did buy 'Paradise Lost' and 'Fallen'. The best part is that when I was browsing one end of an aisle, I noticed a very large man crouching at the other end. All of the sudden, I hear this painfully loud fart and the man stands up. I almost laughed because that was so... uncalled for! We're in a public place! He just stood up and walked away. Much too funny!

I made chocolate pretzels tonight and burned my hand on the steam. Lifting weights is gonna hurt tomorrow. But I did realize that when I buy classic books, I feel so cool and educated. So profound and elite. And a saw a good quote by Abraham Lincoln: My best friend is the man who'll get me a book I haven't read.

xx Chocolate Covered Marz