One Week Later

Still as manic and cynical as ever.

One moment I love him, and the idea of him makes me cry, but the next moment I find myself cursing his name. I've imagined a whole lot of things I wish I could say to his face, but sadly I'm not brave enough.

I remember one Sunday when we got into a fight and stopped talking. Later that afternoon, he texted me saying that Owl City reminded him of me. Now I think of that when I listen to Owl City and wonder if it still has the same effect on him.

I tried IMing him twice and sent him a Facebook chat. He never responded to anything. I love how he told me I was still his really good friend.

You're such a liar.

Part of me just wants to hate him and tell him how it is. I was nothing but good to you and I spent my time and energy trying to be a good girlfriend because I loved you. All I asked for was a little something in return. Although I feel like if I try to tell him, he'll get all pissy and say that I'm attacking him and make me out to be the bad person. No, he needs to learn to take blame for things. I'm not attacking you, I'm trying to tell you how I feel. God, hold your temper down.

I'm a mess. A manic mess. Basketcase? Yeah. You created this monster. Thanks a lot and enjoy living your life.

xx Bitter Marz