And summer can start. Too bad I can't move out just yet.
My home life is corrupt. Every night is the same thing: screaming, throwing things, slamming doors, vulgarities, and bullshit.
And it makes me sad.
Even though their fight isn't about me, it still brings me down because there's just so much tension. I'm not apart of their battle, but they still try to manipulate me. It's hard because I don't know what to do or how to react to anything, and there's just no place for me.
It's all a sham. Nice house, nice things, college funds... it doesn't matter. There's just no place for any of us here. It's like, I don't agree with either of my parents and I put them both at fault. I'd be better off away from them and their bullshit.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I tend to leave stuff all over the floor and on the stairs and I know my bathroom sink isn't the cleanest thing, but really, it's like they just don't care that you know, maybe I have a hard time picking things up because I'm always tied up in things. Mom said she wasn't put on this earth to be a maid... well true, but dad's not gonna clean the house because he, you know, does all the providing. Seriously, not to be sexist, but really, if you're a wife/mom type figure, basic house keeping should be in your routine. Not counting my two rooms, the rest of the house is a bit unruly. I dunno, tangent here.
Where was I going with this... oh right. I just want out. I want to get away from all of this and live my own life, without anyone telling me to stop hanging stuff on the walls or to organize my stuff a certain way. I want to put my keys and bags where I want to against the wall. I want to line my shoes up instead of stacking them. I want to do things my way and not deal with anyone cramping my style.
I just want to be my own person. I need out of this negative environment because frankly, it's bringing me down.
xx Life Is Ours, We Live It Our Way, And Nothing Else Matters Marz
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