Beauty or the Beast?

I can't help but wonder: am I the Beauty or the Beast?

All my life I figured I was the beauty: smart, loves to read, modest, in the shadows of others, dreamer, and adventurous. I hoped maybe by stroke of luck or fate, my paths would cross and I'd be taken to my fantasy world where I'd tame the beast.

And for a while there, I thought I felt that my life was turning into the fairy tale. Although I didn't get my castle or ballgown or giant library, I was enjoying my fantasy. Did the beauty finally find her beast? I believed so. But just a bit ago, I was listening to Anette's version of 'Ghost Love Score' and I finally understood the lyrics, partially because Tarja wasn't singing :P At the end, the lines go

"Relive the old sin of Adam and Eve
Of you and me
Forgive the adoring beast

Redeem me into childhood
Show me myself without the shell"

Have I turned into the beast? The adoring beast? Have I turned bitter, hopeless, rough, and wild? To quote Nightwish's 'Beauty and the Beast': "All I ever wanted, I will never have" Perhaps I am turning into the beast.

But is there beauty in the beast? There must be, or else the beast wouldn't exist.

"However cold the wind and rain
I'll be there to ease up your pain
However cruel the mirrors of sin
Remember, beauty is found within"

An interesting concept to contemplate.

xx Beauty of the Beast Marz