I SCREAMMMM...

Because I have nothing better to do in the car.

Freaking Baker thinks I hate people. Do not! I just don't like working with other people. I'm very proud of what good ideas I come up with, so I want all the credit. We have to make a brain book... Bahhh, this'll be hard. In art, I'm an overachiever and painted my values too hardcore... oh well. It's just the way I paint! I dive right in and go for the gold. I don't waste time on petty things like planning and value studies... bah!

Physics was gouda. Shelby and I are bonding and having fun, so it's not so bad. We talked about the hole Wes and Heather thing, and how awful it'd be if they broke up. Like, it's him we're worried about. We talked about that and college. Like, it never really hit me that once we graduate, friends that we've been with for years will go off to other schools and we will see them maybe a few times a year. That's tough. I'm not good at meeting new people, so I don't know how I'll fare in the really real world.

English sucked again cause Jamie ditched me. And I hate how when I don't speak in that class, I usually have a good idea of something to say, and then when I get called on, I say something crappy and lame. Bah. I called Jamie up after school so we could work on class stuff that I didn't feel like doing alone and we ended up telling jokes for a long time.

On a more serious and personal note, I was in the car today listening to Sarah Brightman's song 'Fleur Du Mal' (Flowers of Evil) and a few lines in, she goes "I've come to know that I miss your love, while I'm not missing you" and I think that's how I am. Like, I miss the feeling of love, of having something think about you and spend time with you and call you pretty, but I guess I don't miss him anymore. Like, it's really just wasted effort, anyways. And it's depressing, too, so I've given up the notion. I only wish him the best of luck in finding someone better who he can be happy with.

And I wish myself some luck, too. So there you have it: I've admitted it. Now you can stop feeling awkward around me.


xx But I Still Love To Wash In Your Old Bathwater, Love To Think That You Couldn't Love Another Marz