End of an Era

Goodbye crappy life, hello new love :)

I'm excited... so excited.

xx If You Die, I Wanna Die With You Marz

Twice Today

I felt like throwing up.

But I'm really happy... happier than I've been in weeks. Finally, something is turning out right. This feels right. And I've never heard anything more sincere than what I heard tonight. I almost cried out of happiness.

Now what happens?

xx You Were Always There Dressed In Summer White Marz

WE SPOKE.

I texted him asking to meet me tomorrow and talk.

He said yes.

xx Marz

Spinning.

Today in English, I looked at the floor. I saw it move. Like an ocean, I saw the floor ripple and thrash about and when someone walked through it, they walked over the shifting water like a ghost. It looked like liquid that I could touch. And I wanted to touch it.

It brought tears to my eyes.

The floor is moving.

xx So Deep And So Dear Marz

There's This Boy...

There's a boy I dreamed of last night.

In the dream, he was smiling and laughing and having a good time, and I was smiling from a distance. We didn't talk. I think we meant to avoid each other.

But we were both happy.

I've dreamed of you before. I hope to dream of you again.

xx For The Rest, I Have To Say To You, I Will Dream Like The God Marz

Ultimatum

As long as I continue to hate you, I'll be able to restrain myself from ever loving you.

It's the best thing. For us both.

xx Marz

Pain, Misery, Cruelty.

Tonight at work, Jeremy asked if there was something wrong with me.

I said no.

On the inside, I felt my ocean of a soul thrash and destroy. On the inside, I was screaming yes.

xx Marz

My Summer Wedding

I'm getting married, apparently.

Heather and I had the idea to throw a wedding-themed party... and then it turned into my wedding! We're shooting for a summer date and we don't have any plans yet, other than the bridal party will be wearing mustaches. I already have a dress... :P Black, of course. Maybe with some fun accessories? Yes.

The best part is that she's holding groom auditions. I won't know my groom until I walk down the aisle... that's so exciting! I want to get married outdoors, in a nice grassy field... maybe the nature preserve? I don't know, we'll have to see!

Tomorrow, Heather and I are working at the Coppell Library as Raven and Terra, handing out free comics and being awesome. Money money money! And I get to do my Raven eyes. Then it's off to babysit tomorrow night for some more money! I love it!

That's all... my back hurts. Time for one more daring dream...

xx I Dream Of The Winter In My Heart Turning To Spring Marz

I Feel Like A Horrible Person.

I feel just awful.

So I think I have a problem. I meet a guy, befriend him, lead him on, then crush his soul. I don't mean to, but it just happens.

And then last night was totally trippy. I don't know what I was thinking... Apparently, I have suppressed cravings. Ha ha, funny how things kind of changed a bit today :P

But the day gets weirder. So today was day two of pre-mini band camp... and after guard was done practicing, we noticed that the band was still playing well after 7:30. So we watched them dance/play stand tunes... and I had this horrible feeling in my stomach. Like, this mostly felt nostalgic. I mean, the last two band camps I spent devoting 30% of my brain to guard, 20% to anything not related to guard, and 50% to him. So it was kinda of weird to be in this band camp setting and not stare longingly. I got over it quickly, but the feeling was just... bizarre. Actually, the last three band camps apply to the previously stated statistics. I guess this change is good?

And lastly. On my way home from guard, Vanilla Twilight came on and I cried on the way home. Why does this song bother me so damn much?!

xx This Is My Elegy Marz

Look What I Found

Yep. And I have to say. Marissa Cuce, I am so madly in love with you. You have all of my heart and my mind all the time. I'm always thinking about you.

Top Hottest Men

In no particular order... I could stare at these men all day.

Criss Angel//42//Illusionist

Johnny Depp//46//Actor

Tuomas Holopainen//33//Nightwish Composer/Pianist/Poet

Alex O'Loughlin//33//Actor

Yeah... If I could have those four men in my general area at the same time, I might die of overheating. Because that's too hot. The thing they have in common is long hair, beautiful hollow faces, and a fab shirtless body :) Well I don't know about Tuomas, but I did see his sauna picture... OH MY GOD TUOMAS PORN! It's like, the entire band naked... I can see Jukka's balls... oh Nightwish, I knew you were a winner.

Up next, Top Hottest Women.

100th Post

Damn, I'm a beast. Happy 100 posts.

Four sleepovers down, who knows how many more to go! My bed smells like boy and pillow mist :( Gotta wash those sheets tomorrow.

Well my Poison Ivy costume is D-O-N-E! It looks AWESOME, too. I also adore my new Raven boots :) We dressed up for Free Comic Book Day and got asked to dress up for events and get paid! Money! I guess our costumes were just that awesome :P I love my red wig...

Gosh, 5 weeks til A-Kon. I'm so excited... like, I almost wanna start packing, but I know I can't! Maybe I need to work on drawing on my suitcase... hopefully I can fit everything in one bag... maybe 2, tops.

I dunno what to write about. Life's been fine... nothing exciting, except that I realized that I have a horrible curse when it comes to guys :P But that's ok... I can live with it. I'm currently browsing through silly Nightwish pictures... OH DANG! TUOMAS!

xx On The Tomb Of This Unknown Soldier Lay The Tools Of The One Who For Us Has Died Marz