A Fun Night In

Oh it's three AM. I have a meeting in seven hours.

Today was a pretty not bad day in my book. Did nothing in design, did hardly anything in design thinking, and slept from 1:30-6. Oh God, did that feel amazing. Then me and Dorothy went and treated ourselves to some Arbys and came back to plan for the house! I'm in charge of bringing tupperware, baking dishes/bakeware, dish towels, salt/pepper shakers (I want to get those sex bunny ones), mixing bowls, broom, and sponges. Not bad!

Theeeeeen I had to draw in the studio so I could use the easel. Everyone gave me shit for being here on the weekend, ha ha. Whaaaaat, I like going to Dallas. After a can of Mikes, I remembered why I liked these guys. We just hung out allll night. I started my drawing, which ended up being creepy as shit. I don't mean to make things so creepy, it just happens. It's a dark gift. But not the kind of Dark Gift Anne Rice wrote about, ha ha. According to her, there's only about 10% of reported gays in America. Hmmmmm.

I dunno, I just realized how much I like the people here. I've made a lot of new friends through weird ways, but we're all just a bunch of crazy friends. I've got gay friends, nerd friends, Jesus loving friends, dick friends, sassy friends, and everything in between. I love these people.

Also, it's a nice solid seventeen months now. How time fliiiieeeesssssssss.

I watched Man of La Mancha again tonight. Luis told me la mancha means the stain in Mexican, which is neat! Man of the Stain, but what stain? The stained mind? The stained armor? The stained soul? Hmmm. And then tonight my heart melted while he sang to Aldonza. I've seen this scene a million times, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy tonight. And Sophia Loren is seriously the most beautiful Italian girl ever. Ever. There's no comparison.





And then there's Brian Stokes Mitchell's Broadway version. Oh my God, he might just have the dreamiest voice I've ever heard. I want to see him sing for me again. It's so hard to pick which one I like better.



xx Now I've Found Thee And The World Shall Know Thy Glory Marz

I Want To Blog More.

I miss it. Blogging actually does help me think things out better, which is awesome during these trying times.

Today was pretty good. Woke up at 10:30, ate, and spent the afternoon doing layouts. Then me and half the floor went to go see Cabin In The Woods, which was as awesome as I've heard people talk about. I thought it was going to be a horror movie that combines all horror movies, which is does, but it was SO FUNNY. I wasn't expecting it to be so well written! Loooooved it. I'd see it again! I wasn't sure how it would end, but I wasn't all that satisfied with the ending :/ A dues ex machina if I've ever seen one.

Dorothy and I were supposed to watch Lord of the Rings tonight :( Noooo. She left me for mac and cheese and Jack. Ah well, I might do something for me tonight anyways. I really do want to produce art to sell, and I think I can make it work. I just need to figure out the most efficient way to do it.

JESUS. So I went to go print my layouts tonight and the plotters WOULD NOT cooperate. After almost two hours I said screw it and just printed them individually on tabloid paper. I hate when that shit doesn't work, but everyone tomorrow is gonna deal with it too when they go to print. And it takes twenty minutes to print shit out on those machines :/

Today was a better day than yesterday by far. I just don't know what to do tonight! Sew some more?

xx I Want To Go Deeper Marz

Quixotic Again

Well today was rough. After class, I spent all day and night doing sketches of ideas for my final drawing project. I drew some sketches I like, but I can't do them. Naturally. It's just bringing me down. But then I think, something else is bothering me, but I don't know what it is. I'm just in a perpetual apathetic and down mood. So many things going on at once and about to finish. So many meetings and things to take care of. So much money being transferred and spent. I don't have any motivation to draw, design, sew, or even clean my desk. The room is a mess, and I swear my hair is getting even frizzier.

Well, I decided to fix the bad mood by watching Ever After. But... it's not on Netflix anymore. What. It's one of my favorite movies, and its not here to help me. I almost picked The Piano, but ended up chosing Man of La Mancha, which was right next to it.

It's funny, this play/story/musical/novel describes me and my life more so than anything else I can think of. It's been my favorite musical since I was a kid. I could recite the songs AND the dialogue in second grade. Sure I didn't understand what strumpets and whores were, or fully grasp some of the monologues, but I took home with me the idea of the play. And now here I am, a good ten or twelve years older, still believing in it. Plus I know what things are now. And it gives me extreme comfort to know it's ok for me to be crazy and pretend I live in a different world. I wish I had my poster on my wall here to remind me.

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? To surrender dreams - -this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness! But maddest of all - -to see life as it is and not as it should be."

"Look always forward; in last year's nests there are no birds this year."

"Love not what thou art, only what thou may become."

"I come in a world of iron to make a world of gold."

xx To Try When Your Arms Are Too Weary Marz

Back In Bunny Mode

So Annie sent me a link to a live bunny cam to help spread the word about bunnies that need adopting after the Easter season, and I got all bunny happy again. If I had the money, I'd totally sponsor a bunny at the rescue!

I've narrowed down Othello or Trevor as my potential future bunny. But of course, it's all up to Lita to pick one! I want to volunteer this summer too, and spend my Saturdays loving bunnies and taking care of then! Then come home to love my bunnies :) I miss Lita so much, and I'd feel so much better if I knew she had a friend. I feel so bad now :( My baby girl.

Today was an oddly awesome Monday! I got 6 hours of sleep, which rocked. Then I put on a nice shirt and kind of did my hair and just looked good today. Then I got to design, where I sewed and helped people and had a blast. Even design thinking was good, and Michele helped me push my layouts some more! And even weirder, I ate lunch at Maple and it was pretty tasty today. Weeeiiirrrddddd. Why is today going so well?

xx A Smile Like A Tragedy We Hold Inside Marz

Scarborough Faireeee

Well I'm using the new Blogger interface and... it's odd, like most new things are. Gonna take some getting used to.

Well a little big ago, I got back from a fuuuuunnnnnn weekend with my favorite person :) It was a fat Friday night, a super super super awesome Saturday, and a nice lazy Sunday. That's what I'm talking about! I got a new ring to add to my collection of faire rings, and this one's way different from any other ones. I normally don't go for stones in my rings so I can wear them with anything, but I figured it was time to shake things up. So I got one, a bright silver one, with a round cerulean colored stone. The way the ring is cut makes it reflect lots of light :) It reminds me of the ring Howl gave Sophie!

I love going to the faire. It's always so much fun just to be around everything. The costumes and the food and the music and the everything is just so awesome. And it was the perfect warm day yesterday! But the best part of all was that I had my very favorite person there to enjoy it with.

And now... back home to do layouts. It really won't take that long at all, but I just keep second guessing myself when it comes to things. And then Wingstop after I finish two! Mmmmmm, wangs. Delicious wings.

I'm stuck between which pattern to buy.

And I don't understand putting pictures in this new interface. Weird.

xx And The Circle Starts Again Marz

Streets of London

This is one of my favorite songs right now. I looooove her voice so much, it's not fair. I could listen to this a million times, along with this gem I found:



Mmmmmm. Pretty music to sooth my stressed out eyes, mind, and ears. Call It Love is another one of those songs you'd just have to dance to, like Ghost Wandering This Earth. Back to layouts!

xx Let's Just Call It Love Marz

The King, A Soccer Coach

So I turned on Bend It Like Beckham earlier because it was the only movie on that I knew. I seriously haven't seen this movie since 6th grade when we did a project on it in class. Well a shot of her soccer coach at practice caught me off. He was really familiar looking and at first I thought he was Wood from Sorcerer's Stone.

LOL NOPE, IT'S JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS.

I can't tell if he's attractive or not. Eyes are piercingly stunning, but he has a huge mouth. I hate big mouths. His nose is kind of big too, but I guess it balances out the big mouth. Hmm.

Well today's gonna be a cool day hopefully! Party with Heather an Caitlin, then makeup shopping in Dallas and home for delicious vodka sauce! Yummmmmm. I need to go get 360 paper, though, ughhh. Ha ha, so after watching a whole Friday's worth of Say Yes to the Dress and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, I've come to realize when it comes to sisters, there's always one fat dumpy one and one fit gorgeous one. It happens in like, 80% of the siblings. Cool. I hate Saturday only because it splits up Wedding Friday and Wedding Sunday.

xx Would You Do It For Me Marz

MOAR BREAKDOWNS!

Well I wish I felt like writing about allll the adventures that happened at Matsuri, but I don't. I'm straight up annoyed and irritated right now. Everyone, every single person I talk to or even look at, is bothering me. Am I sleep deprived? Bogged down with work? Post weekend parental anxiety? I dunno. It's like, I have all this work to get done, and it seems like I'm just working nonstop and when I do finally take a break, I can't help but think of all that's left to do.

I don't want to think. My hand is cramped from nights of staying up late making a million precise lines. My hands used to be steady and reliable, but now they're useless for painting and drawing. So that's a bummer, then there's the fact that the house might not be happening, which is also another stress. Then there's the fifty million people to please and I feel like all I ever hear is moaning and bitching. It's like people forgot to grow up and want to act like kids and whine. I'm so tired of it. I had to listen to it this past weekend, I have to hear it in my classes, and I have friends that do it all the time. An absolute nightmare.

I just want to stay in my bed, in my dark room, in the very corner of the wall with my bunnies and computer and just veg out for days. I don't have any motivation to work, and I just feel like crying. I'm glad Dorothy has a long day today, because I just want to be left alone.

And then Dorothy invited me to the pink party at the Jew frat house, with Ellen and Gina, but I probably won't go because people might get the wrong idea of me if I go to a college party.

It's just so hard, everyone always goes out and has all these crazy fun times. And I'm not saying I wish I had gone to college single, because I'm perfectly happy where I'm at, but I always wonder what would have been different. It's college, shit's supposed to get crazy now because it's the only time in your life when you get that excuse. No crazy shit for this guy, I get to stay at home and watch everyone else.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I can't think straight anymore. I'm tired, frustrated, irritated, and totally dead to the world. Class in three hours.

When I'm Feeling Down

I either eat, do my makeup and hair, or watch concerts.



Oh wow, this sounds so cool live. And Marco is so welcoming ;P Anette sounds too pretty, and it's cute how she always introduces which ever band member is about to do a little solo, like what she did for Emppu here. Emppu, Y U NO look excited?! Marco has pretty hair. Tuomas looks too into it. And Jukka is hiding and getting shitfaced. I like singing this song :D

Jesus my laundry list of shit to get done keeps getting bigger. It'd probably also help if I could focus better, but, ehh. I'll get everything done before Matsuri! SOOO EXCITED.



Found that little gem, too. Troy is killing it on those pipes! I'm glad he's touring with them, but I guess he sort of has to, given the pipe heavy songs ;P Anette sounds great singing this! I liked Tarja's version too, but this one's nice. She's got lots of personality and her voice combined with Marco's is a truly magical sound. Me gusta.

COME TO AMERICA D:

xx A Secret It Must Stay Marz