Damn, so my little boy is actually a little girl! The vet was poking around the downstairs area and said "Are you sure it's a boy? Because it looks like a girl to me!" Well shit, now I have to repaint her name on :P And no, it's not gonna be Faustina, Fausta, or Faustette. I think that in keeping with my theme of naming pets after pieces of famous literature, I'll rename her Lolita after the book by the name name written by Vladmir Nabokov. It sounds like an awesome book, actually. I really want to buy it soon!
It's funny, I named my fish after symphonic metal bands and my animals after famous literature... I'm such a weirdo :P I dunno, naming things was always something I did. I guess it was a big thing with my dolling, especially. I noticed a lot of other pixel artists naming their girls, and I used to have a TON of OCs in my head that all had names, so why don't the rest of them have names, too? I'd finish a piece and then give it a name that fit.
I want to do a big piece with all my OCs in them! Ara Grey is in the middle as she's been my muse, alter ego, and inspiration since I was eleven with October, her boyfriend, at her side. Next to him would be Melanie, the star of my Criss Angel fanfic, and next to her on the end would be Arabelle, who is a younger version of Ara Grey back in 1850's London. Wow, I remember drawing her in ninth grade! On the other side of Ara Grey are my three Empathicans: Innocence, Marko, and Cadence.
Wow, I'm going through my Photobucket and looking at my album of my characters... so many old ones with stories I never finished. Such crazy ideas! There's Davin, my suave dancing vampire and Nathaniel, his nemsis from the Land of the Dead RP I was in with Elise. And then there's all of Ara Grey's outfits including her formal, dancer, zombie, J-Pop, couture, and revamped style, plus the vampire Duke from her story. Damn I loved vampires. Oh wow, and there's also Raven! I forgot about my little gothling who is secretly the Angel of Love and ruler of the heavens... wow. A LOT of my childhood is in my Photobucket. I wonder if I can pull up my old karenmasters account. Wow, that was the very first alias I ever went by on the internet :) That was the foundation of Ara Grey! Oh Karen Masters, I'll never forget your jeans, burgundy button up, and yellowish brown hair. You were so plain, and then you became Ara Grey... the red haired zombie of the night! Oh, what a trip down memory lane this has been :)
xx At First I Was Afraid, I Was Petrified Marz
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Oh Moonlight!
So I was sitting on the couch this morning and happened to see that Moonlight was on SyFy. And I thought, hey, I loved this show. Let's give it a watch! AND OH MY GOD, I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SHOW. It's soooooooooooo romantic <3 AWW MICK'S KISSING BETH! Oh they love each other despite him being a vampire... he's so damn vampy fine. Oh there is a reason he's plastered on my wall... it's to remind me that I used to love this show. Duh.
I want to spend my day watching Mick turn apeshit and kill those asshats and come rescue Beth from the evils of the world and then take her on romantic rooftop and beach dates and then break her heart and then give her a dramatic speech and then love her all over again while kicking vampire ass by moonlight. He's like Sailor Moon. Goddamn. I'm like a twelve year old fangirl all over again.
xx And Then I Saw My Reflection Marz
I Hate My Job. Again.
Maybe it's the tiredness talking, or maybe the PMS or the fact that I can't get my Saturday covered or it might be that I'm working too much, but... I really hate my job. I'm laying in bed having not eaten in eight hours. Yeah, I'm starving. But getting food together is too much effort. Will I eat in the morning? Probably not.
Uughhh. I want to quit right now so bad. True, I am making some decent money, but I really don't like this job. It's not for me. I want a desk job where I'm forced to make tough choices like fuschia or lilac or #ee99c0. I don't want to follow some corporation's bullshit procedure. And being able to sit would do wonders on my back.
Gahh. I hate complaining. I just hate this week. I need those pills so bad.
xx I'm Tired, I Just Wanna Go Home Marz
Monday, June 27, 2011
I Hate My Job.
I really really do. I hate serving, I hate working four doubles in a row, I hate bad attitudes, I hate how I'm treated, and I hate how no one takes me seriously. I also get absolutely no perks with this job and that makes it less desirable. Carlos just treats me like a piece of meat for the guys at the bar and everyone talks down to me and treats me like a child. "Oh, go make this Guac Live for me because the guys at that table would probably rather look at you doing it" is just ridiculous. "Oh, if only you were older"... dream on. I hate the constant comments. I want someone to notice my work ethic and not my ass.
Gahhh. I'm just mostly pissed about all the doubles. I need to get myself and Faust to a doctor... looks like Thursday is my only day.
Alright, so being on my off week really is making things worse than they probably are. I never realized just how much that extra estrogen really does for me until I stop taking it for a week. I'm not even bleeding yet and already I'm grouchy, pissed, and irritable. I just want to lay in bed and be miserable for a week without having to deal with people.
xx Do You Have The Time To Listen To Me Whine Marz
Sehpora Is Calling Again...
And I'm trying not to answer ;P After doing a makeup inventory, I decided that my all time favorite colors are the two greys from my Kat Von D Metal Orchestra palette. I could tell because there's a noticeable dent in the colors, ha ha. But what will I do when I'm out of those two colors? I hardly touch the other colors in the palette, so I don't want to buy another one just for two colors. I might try and go find some single dupes in Urban Decay, but if I can't find any there, I don't know what I'll do. I don't like Too Faced's eyeshadows very much, and I've never tried anything else so I don't know what to do. Being a girl is tough.
So I dropped my Kat True Love palette on the floor, which caused the Peanut color to shatter and some other colors colors to crack. I think I managed to get Peanut back into the pan with some rubbing alcohol, but I can't travel with the palette anymore for fear of breaking the cracked ones. HOWEVER. Sephora is having a deal where for $54, you get True Love ($34), two primers which are decent ($15 each), a nude lipstick that's got mixed reviews ($18), and an eyeliner with pretty good reviews ($18). So for $54 you're getting $100 worth of stuff. It's tempting because I really want another True Love so I can travel with it and get a bunch of stuff for half off, but... I don't know. I need to stop :P I love Kat's makeup!
And As far as UD goes, I'm totally in love with my Urban Ammo palette and can't wait to buy the full sized singles of my favorites from the palette. Totally buying Maui Wowie, Sin, Smog, Asphyxia, and Midnight Cowboy (Hey, it's the best selling color from them!). Which puts me at... $85. Bahahahahahaa, I remember being younger and thinking "I'll never wear makeup because it's so expensive.". I'm more than willing to pay for high quality ingredients now :P
DAMN YOU, SEPHORA.
xx Yesterday I Got So scared, Shivered Like A Child Marz
So I dropped my Kat True Love palette on the floor, which caused the Peanut color to shatter and some other colors colors to crack. I think I managed to get Peanut back into the pan with some rubbing alcohol, but I can't travel with the palette anymore for fear of breaking the cracked ones. HOWEVER. Sephora is having a deal where for $54, you get True Love ($34), two primers which are decent ($15 each), a nude lipstick that's got mixed reviews ($18), and an eyeliner with pretty good reviews ($18). So for $54 you're getting $100 worth of stuff. It's tempting because I really want another True Love so I can travel with it and get a bunch of stuff for half off, but... I don't know. I need to stop :P I love Kat's makeup!
And As far as UD goes, I'm totally in love with my Urban Ammo palette and can't wait to buy the full sized singles of my favorites from the palette. Totally buying Maui Wowie, Sin, Smog, Asphyxia, and Midnight Cowboy (Hey, it's the best selling color from them!). Which puts me at... $85. Bahahahahahaa, I remember being younger and thinking "I'll never wear makeup because it's so expensive.". I'm more than willing to pay for high quality ingredients now :P
DAMN YOU, SEPHORA.
xx Yesterday I Got So scared, Shivered Like A Child Marz
70000 TONS OF METAL
WHY AM I JUST FINDING OUT THAT THERE'S A METAL FESTIVAL ON A CRUISE SHIP? AND NIGHTWISH IS PLAYING?! So are Therion and Tristania. Wow, that's incredible. I would have never thought of a floating music festval... much less a metal fest. Daaaaaamn. That's like, the coolest thing I've ever seen!
And it's another day at home alone. I made nachos and tacos for lunch while I watched Metalocalypse, That '70s Show, and Ouran. Decent day :P I don't want to go to work... people are assholes :P Oh wow, Ouran's still on and I forgot how amazing this show is :) I'm such a sucker for the innocent high school romance! I just saw a commercial for Black Butler, now THAT looks like a cool show. Demons and loyalties and blood and killing and English accents?! Awww yeah! I wonder if I can watch it online. I still need to make a Netflix account!
Oh no, has my summer turned into watching TV and movies?!
xx Heartborn Seventh Seeker Marz
Etiquette
So I finally started digging into Emily Post's classic Book of Etiquette, and it's beyond cool. I learned how to eat certain food, how to behave in a restaurant, how to create a proper monogram, how to carry a title, how engagements work, manners while on a date, how to use a napkin, and more. Way cool stuff :P Even if a lot of it is a tad outdated, formality can always come in handy!
I finally watched Shrek 4 tonight, ha ha. It was a classic Shrek film with its snappy soundtrack and goofy moments, but it was the worst of all the films :P The first is so so so so soooo good. Find me a movie sequel that's actually decent! Ha ha, and since it's Wedding Sunday on WE, I caught up on the new My Fair Weddings that I've been missing out on! An Alice in Wonderland one, a Phantom of the Opera one, and a Bling Crystal one. Very cool stuff today! Mom thinks I'm going to have a huge dramatic and dark wedding in a castle someday. Oh mom, finally you get me! Too late. I asked her if there were castles in Texas and apparently there are... TIME TO GO FIND THEM!
What else... I gotta take Faust in this week to get his first bunny check up! And I need to go back to the doctor to retest my blood and make sure my white blood cell count isn't scary low again. And I get to watch Ouicho this week! Yay puppy dog <3
xx You Are Loved Marz
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Gemology
So I was Stumbling earlier and came across a website about gemstones and rocks and it gave me this nostalgic rush back to my childhood. I remember being like, seven and having my heart set on becoming a gemologist someday. I had tons of books on all sorts of stones, rocks, minerals, and more. And then today I realized some of the coolest rocks out there :)
Alexandrite: A variant of Chrysoberyl; I loooove it because of how it reflects light. My favorite gradient is the purple/red. It's pretty rare to find pure stone anymore because of it's long use in Russian jewelry, but it's way pretty and has a unique chemical makeup :)
Maxixe Aquamarine: Hey, it's my birthstone. Gotta stick to your roots. Plus the maxixe variety turns from blue to white when exposed to certain types of light! I always liked that :P
Tourmaline: When I was a kid I totally remember thinking this was so cool because it can be multicolored. Its dravite and schorl forms are really nice looking for such a dark stone!
Moissanite: A really cool stone that's been found in meteors. It's really close to a diamond, but has a kinda different look. I always thought they looked much more striking and dynamic than diamonds, anyways. It's one of the most popular diamond replacers in the jewelry trade, found that out today.
Sapphire: You can't go wrong with the brilliance of a dark blue sapphire. Like moissanite, I always found it to be striking because of it's deep shadows and brilliant highlights. I consider that clear, whereas jade and rubies to me look cloudy and dull. Blurghh. Plus I really like that shade of blue... I think sapphires are a symbol of 45 years of marriage, last I saw.
xx The Undisclosed Desires In Your Heart Marz
Alexandrite: A variant of Chrysoberyl; I loooove it because of how it reflects light. My favorite gradient is the purple/red. It's pretty rare to find pure stone anymore because of it's long use in Russian jewelry, but it's way pretty and has a unique chemical makeup :)
Maxixe Aquamarine: Hey, it's my birthstone. Gotta stick to your roots. Plus the maxixe variety turns from blue to white when exposed to certain types of light! I always liked that :P
Tourmaline: When I was a kid I totally remember thinking this was so cool because it can be multicolored. Its dravite and schorl forms are really nice looking for such a dark stone!
Moissanite: A really cool stone that's been found in meteors. It's really close to a diamond, but has a kinda different look. I always thought they looked much more striking and dynamic than diamonds, anyways. It's one of the most popular diamond replacers in the jewelry trade, found that out today.
Sapphire: You can't go wrong with the brilliance of a dark blue sapphire. Like moissanite, I always found it to be striking because of it's deep shadows and brilliant highlights. I consider that clear, whereas jade and rubies to me look cloudy and dull. Blurghh. Plus I really like that shade of blue... I think sapphires are a symbol of 45 years of marriage, last I saw.
xx The Undisclosed Desires In Your Heart Marz
Friday, June 24, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
OH MY GOD.
Suzy from DHF, my longtime dolling idol since I was 11 and amazing digital artist from Sweden who produced the most widely used base in the dolling community, who everybody knows for her style and detail, FAVORITED MY EDGAR PAINTING ON dA.
OH MY GOD.
This is... huge. This is the pinnacle of my art career. Oh my god. One of the best dollers in all of the internet likes my art.
I'm so... MINDBLOWN. The one responsible for those and many many many more pieces of art likes my stuff.
xx All I Wish Is To Dream Again Marz
OH MY GOD.
This is... huge. This is the pinnacle of my art career. Oh my god. One of the best dollers in all of the internet likes my art.
I'm so... MINDBLOWN. The one responsible for those and many many many more pieces of art likes my stuff.
xx All I Wish Is To Dream Again Marz
What Gets Me Excited?
Food.
I realized today what food that really gets me going.
Pasta with Fresh Sauce: Mom asked me what meal I would miss most while at college and I replied with fresh sauce. Oh my God, there's something perfect with the balance of sweet onions and salty kalamata olives that's not too heavy or too light that's just amazing. Oh my God.
Seafood Salad: When I was in Italy, I made it a point to sample as many different types of seafood salad as I could. I fraking love that stuff. Salty, lemony, garlicy... and fish! It's so tasty and good for you :P I really love seafood of all kinds, so what better way to eat it than to throw it all together and soak it in oil and lemon juice?!
Salads in General: Dear God I love salads. Which is funny considering how much I hated lettuce as a kid and learned to like it in New Jersey when I had to start making my own dinners because no one was around to do it for me. I looooove salads because I can put so many different things on them and come up with so many different dishes! Lettuce is merely a vessel for my Italian/vinegar dressing and goes awesome with olives, tomatoes, and hearts of palm. Or anything, really. Mom once made me a special salad whose name escapes me with like, raw meat and thin slices of cheese and capers. Damn good. I'm probably gonna live on the salad bar in college.
Hot Wings: Oh my God, I love the winning combination of delicious wings and cold, creamy ranch. I hate wings that are overly hot... I like a nice spice with a ton of good flavor. Wingstop does an amazing job, honestly. Although homemade wings are also amazing :)
Hoagies: AKA the sandwich that does not exist in the south. Dear God. Soft Italian bread with an oil and vinegar drizzle, then layers of salami, provolone, cappricola, and prosciutto. I don't minds onions and banana peppers on mine, but I usually take off the tomato and lettuce. And THAT is a winning sandwich worthy of the hoagie title. That's one reason I wouldn't mind living on the east coast... also a reason why I love Philly :P
End of food rant.
xx And Someday We'll Pay The Bills With This Guitar Marz
I realized today what food that really gets me going.
Pasta with Fresh Sauce: Mom asked me what meal I would miss most while at college and I replied with fresh sauce. Oh my God, there's something perfect with the balance of sweet onions and salty kalamata olives that's not too heavy or too light that's just amazing. Oh my God.
Seafood Salad: When I was in Italy, I made it a point to sample as many different types of seafood salad as I could. I fraking love that stuff. Salty, lemony, garlicy... and fish! It's so tasty and good for you :P I really love seafood of all kinds, so what better way to eat it than to throw it all together and soak it in oil and lemon juice?!
Salads in General: Dear God I love salads. Which is funny considering how much I hated lettuce as a kid and learned to like it in New Jersey when I had to start making my own dinners because no one was around to do it for me. I looooove salads because I can put so many different things on them and come up with so many different dishes! Lettuce is merely a vessel for my Italian/vinegar dressing and goes awesome with olives, tomatoes, and hearts of palm. Or anything, really. Mom once made me a special salad whose name escapes me with like, raw meat and thin slices of cheese and capers. Damn good. I'm probably gonna live on the salad bar in college.
Hot Wings: Oh my God, I love the winning combination of delicious wings and cold, creamy ranch. I hate wings that are overly hot... I like a nice spice with a ton of good flavor. Wingstop does an amazing job, honestly. Although homemade wings are also amazing :)
Hoagies: AKA the sandwich that does not exist in the south. Dear God. Soft Italian bread with an oil and vinegar drizzle, then layers of salami, provolone, cappricola, and prosciutto. I don't minds onions and banana peppers on mine, but I usually take off the tomato and lettuce. And THAT is a winning sandwich worthy of the hoagie title. That's one reason I wouldn't mind living on the east coast... also a reason why I love Philly :P
End of food rant.
xx And Someday We'll Pay The Bills With This Guitar Marz
Orientation
Went well! It was fun, learned a lot about UNT and picked my classes. I also got to stay in Kerr, which is where I'll be living for the next year. I'm so ready to start buying shit for my dorm like a fridge and new sheets and weird little dormy things.
I just finished watching another news report on Ryan Dunn's death :( I'm so sad... he was my favorite Jackass guy and said some of my favorite lines ever.
“ASSIES!??!! What the hell are assies!?”
“I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt.”
"Glomb, shut up. No one wants to hear from you. Put me back. I... I don't know why he's talking with a British accent."
It's really sad what happened, but seriously, if you're driving 130 mph while having a BAC of .196%... well I don't feel as bad. I'm not saying he deserved what he got, I'm just saying that it was a really bad choice on his part. He's a Dunn deal :(
Oh well. Back to writing thank you cards.
xx I Won't Show Up On Your Doorstep On Sunday Morning Marz
I just finished watching another news report on Ryan Dunn's death :( I'm so sad... he was my favorite Jackass guy and said some of my favorite lines ever.
“ASSIES!??!! What the hell are assies!?”
“I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt.”
"Glomb, shut up. No one wants to hear from you. Put me back. I... I don't know why he's talking with a British accent."
It's really sad what happened, but seriously, if you're driving 130 mph while having a BAC of .196%... well I don't feel as bad. I'm not saying he deserved what he got, I'm just saying that it was a really bad choice on his part. He's a Dunn deal :(
Oh well. Back to writing thank you cards.
xx I Won't Show Up On Your Doorstep On Sunday Morning Marz
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Graduation/First Week Of Summer
WELL. Graduation was Sunday and now I'm officially out of high school, yay! Got my diploma all pretty and spent time with the family. Finding people was a mess at UNT... I kept running into people and losing people and Trying to find people... it was a mess. But kinda fun. I think Leigh and I spent the most time together, haha.
And then I was driving home today and heard this on the radio. I LOVED it, so I Shazamed it and wow, it's Muse! I love Muse :D New fave song, oh yeah!
And then since then, I've just been working. Happy first week of summer! Although today I did spend most of the day playing Minecraft. Unfortunately, the Mac still likes to freeze up every hour or so, but then unfreeze and let me play. I built a castle with a glass room and dug really really really deep in this island and made this really really deep mine and found gold and iron and coal and made really cool tools and really had fun, really :) Except that I just browsed Youtube and found some MIND BLOWING cathedrals people made in the game. Seriously mind blowing.
I'm addicted, ha ha. My only problem is that I made my castle and I'm in a decent area, so I'm kind of scared to venture out. Plus I'm stuck with a desert or a ton of water, so I don't know where to go. Man I love this game. It's like, more fun than Harvest Moon, which is a killer game.
OH GIRL I FOUND THIS ON YOUTUBS. I'm in loooooooove. I'm not sure if I love "Don't Let Me Go" more than "Alayna"... both are REALLY similar songs that I adore. Symfonia rocks.
And then I was driving home today and heard this on the radio. I LOVED it, so I Shazamed it and wow, it's Muse! I love Muse :D New fave song, oh yeah!
xx Enjoy The Moment Marz
Sunday, June 12, 2011
A-Konnnnn!!
So! Time to tell my A-Kon story for 2011 :)
Friday afternoon we drove up and checked in. Small room, nice and cozy, very excellent. We showed up wearing Pokemon and spent TWO HOURS waiting in line to get our badges. And that was just the pre-reg line! I can't imagine being in the on-site reg line. Ughhh. After we got our badges we went upstairs and changed into Titans. Man it feels sooo good to rock Raven :) I think I like it the most because the makeup is easy and flattering, ha ha. Once we went back downstairs people LOOOOVVVEEDDD up again, just like every year. Not gonna lie... it's quite a thrill to have people taking pictures of you. I don't want to know how much of it is fap material, but let's forget about that.
So we just trolled around in Titans and ate ice cream in the Plaza by the ice rink. Ohhhh girl, a big black woman and her man were fighting and screaming in the Plaza! JERRY JERRY JERRY! It was great! Then we ran into a Snakes N Barrels Pickles, Charles, and Toki who were mildly rude about taking pictures with us. Ruuuude. Whatever. Then we changed into Sirens for the photoshoot with Sharri and Max. Well we did the Harley-Ivy-Catwoman pillow fight shoot, but they didn't want to do the night shoot down on the streets, so we essentially got all dressed up for nothing. But it was sooo good to see Max again :) I love that guy, he's so funny. And he does the absolute BEST Murderface voice I've ever heard.
OH MY GOOODDD. So while we were waiting for the elevator in the South Tower, me and Heather got to take a picture sitting on this huge guy's shoulders. IT was so fun and scary at the same time! Then I actually STOOD on his shoulders! Of course, I took my heels off, but it was still fun and scary. I totally jumped off him and landed on my feet, but slid a bit and fell down due to my tights. Glad it was semi-graceful, ha ha. That was super cool :)
And then we got tired and went to bed. And I must say, that was the best sleep I've had in a very long time. We woke up, packed up, and threw on Titans one more time. As we're roaming downstairs, I saw someone dressed up like The Crow and HAD to get a picture. I rarely ask for pictures, so this was a big deal. The guy did a great job on his costume and had the perfect Crow face! I was very impressed! Then we hit up that dealer's room and I didn't find any Gundam kits I wanted :( It's really hard finding G Gundam ones since that's like, the Gundam series no one really liked :P I already have a Burning and a Shining model, but I'd like to find a Master, Rose, or Nobel Gundam kit.
But I did find a cool Dethklok shirt that they only had one shirt left of, and perfectly in my size :) What's better is that it's a 2007 tour shirt! Epic! Surprisingly I didn't buy useless shit like I always do. If anything, I would have bought some art or those cool mermaid steampunk goggles. Damn, they were GORGEOUS. Steampunk normally doesn't do much for me, but this rocked my world.
And then we packed up and went home. Back to society. Back to normal jobs. Back to people wearing normal clothes. I must say, I love being able to roam a hotel full of trannies, cross-dressers, goth kids, wild hair, crazy tattoos, giant costumes, rave gear, and creepers and still feel great. It's like, the best escape from the world :) I can't wait til A-Fest in the fall!
xx Oh, And Someday I'll See Without These Frames Marz
Friday afternoon we drove up and checked in. Small room, nice and cozy, very excellent. We showed up wearing Pokemon and spent TWO HOURS waiting in line to get our badges. And that was just the pre-reg line! I can't imagine being in the on-site reg line. Ughhh. After we got our badges we went upstairs and changed into Titans. Man it feels sooo good to rock Raven :) I think I like it the most because the makeup is easy and flattering, ha ha. Once we went back downstairs people LOOOOVVVEEDDD up again, just like every year. Not gonna lie... it's quite a thrill to have people taking pictures of you. I don't want to know how much of it is fap material, but let's forget about that.
So we just trolled around in Titans and ate ice cream in the Plaza by the ice rink. Ohhhh girl, a big black woman and her man were fighting and screaming in the Plaza! JERRY JERRY JERRY! It was great! Then we ran into a Snakes N Barrels Pickles, Charles, and Toki who were mildly rude about taking pictures with us. Ruuuude. Whatever. Then we changed into Sirens for the photoshoot with Sharri and Max. Well we did the Harley-Ivy-Catwoman pillow fight shoot, but they didn't want to do the night shoot down on the streets, so we essentially got all dressed up for nothing. But it was sooo good to see Max again :) I love that guy, he's so funny. And he does the absolute BEST Murderface voice I've ever heard.
OH MY GOOODDD. So while we were waiting for the elevator in the South Tower, me and Heather got to take a picture sitting on this huge guy's shoulders. IT was so fun and scary at the same time! Then I actually STOOD on his shoulders! Of course, I took my heels off, but it was still fun and scary. I totally jumped off him and landed on my feet, but slid a bit and fell down due to my tights. Glad it was semi-graceful, ha ha. That was super cool :)
And then we got tired and went to bed. And I must say, that was the best sleep I've had in a very long time. We woke up, packed up, and threw on Titans one more time. As we're roaming downstairs, I saw someone dressed up like The Crow and HAD to get a picture. I rarely ask for pictures, so this was a big deal. The guy did a great job on his costume and had the perfect Crow face! I was very impressed! Then we hit up that dealer's room and I didn't find any Gundam kits I wanted :( It's really hard finding G Gundam ones since that's like, the Gundam series no one really liked :P I already have a Burning and a Shining model, but I'd like to find a Master, Rose, or Nobel Gundam kit.
But I did find a cool Dethklok shirt that they only had one shirt left of, and perfectly in my size :) What's better is that it's a 2007 tour shirt! Epic! Surprisingly I didn't buy useless shit like I always do. If anything, I would have bought some art or those cool mermaid steampunk goggles. Damn, they were GORGEOUS. Steampunk normally doesn't do much for me, but this rocked my world.
And then we packed up and went home. Back to society. Back to normal jobs. Back to people wearing normal clothes. I must say, I love being able to roam a hotel full of trannies, cross-dressers, goth kids, wild hair, crazy tattoos, giant costumes, rave gear, and creepers and still feel great. It's like, the best escape from the world :) I can't wait til A-Fest in the fall!
xx Oh, And Someday I'll See Without These Frames Marz
Monday, June 6, 2011
I Finished That Book Again
If I Have A Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince? is a good book. I haven't read it in years, and I forgot just how much I'm like Lucy. We both compare our lives to a fairy tale on a daily basis. Whereas hers is specific, mine's just sort of... out there. It draws it's elements from many stories.
I'm going to be honest. In my mind's eye, when I see the world, I look past it and see what I want to see. This house? Oh God no, it's no house. It's a castle. The Alamodome in San Antonio? A giant battle field. Prison workers digging ditches in Houston? Peasants tilling fields.
I can't turn it off. It's like my mind wants me to see everything like this. It's like synesthesia on crack, expect that this is something weirdly different, but similar in a way. Am I crazy? Am I idealistic? Am I just so damn creative that I see delusions of granduer?
I blame it on the house in New Jersey. I blame it on my room being professionaly painted to look like a black, grey, and blue stone dungeon. It was my tower, my ivory tower. That's an allusion from class, actually, as an ivory tower means a place that is distant form the world and safely tucked away. It's also a Blackmore's Night song now that I think of it. Either way. I'm crazy.
No one knows. No one would take me seriously. I'm just good at hiding it and letting my mind wander all day. I've told a few people about instances when I was younger, and they just laughed at me. Imagine how awful it'd be if they still knew I did it today. I hate this world, I want to live in Empathica. That place I paint all the time, with everyone there. Good God, I am crazy.
xx But No One Really Knows Where We Are Going From Here Marz
I'm going to be honest. In my mind's eye, when I see the world, I look past it and see what I want to see. This house? Oh God no, it's no house. It's a castle. The Alamodome in San Antonio? A giant battle field. Prison workers digging ditches in Houston? Peasants tilling fields.
I can't turn it off. It's like my mind wants me to see everything like this. It's like synesthesia on crack, expect that this is something weirdly different, but similar in a way. Am I crazy? Am I idealistic? Am I just so damn creative that I see delusions of granduer?
I blame it on the house in New Jersey. I blame it on my room being professionaly painted to look like a black, grey, and blue stone dungeon. It was my tower, my ivory tower. That's an allusion from class, actually, as an ivory tower means a place that is distant form the world and safely tucked away. It's also a Blackmore's Night song now that I think of it. Either way. I'm crazy.
No one knows. No one would take me seriously. I'm just good at hiding it and letting my mind wander all day. I've told a few people about instances when I was younger, and they just laughed at me. Imagine how awful it'd be if they still knew I did it today. I hate this world, I want to live in Empathica. That place I paint all the time, with everyone there. Good God, I am crazy.
xx But No One Really Knows Where We Are Going From Here Marz
Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Missing Something.
I'm not gonna lie: I'm happier than I ever thought I could be at this point. Things have been generally going well in life and I have a lot to look forward to. But part of me can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something, or some things. Prom might have been different. This school year might have been different. This coming school year would DEFINITELY be different. I dunno, I don't mean to be thinking that way, but it's on my mind sometimes. Lots of things are on my mind.
College definitely won't be how I always imagined it. Things are just gonna have to be different from everything else. My college time won't be like Jamie's. It'll probably line up more with Heather's, but it's still not gonna be a thing like hers. It's just an odd situation to be in and now that it's getting closer and closer to the actual "hey it's time for college!" date, I'm starting to realize how hard it's gonna be.
But then I look at myself and say, well wait a minute, I don't exactly fit the college stereotype. That college lifestyle isn't really me anyways. I guess I am more of a just hang out in my room and work sort of person. I guess I am a goody goody after all. Get shit done, work hard, reject harmful things... Damn. Might as well take class online. I don't want to deal with meeting people and end up meeting a shit ton of creepers. I mean, I want to meet people and make new friends, but I attract a weird crowd. It's like I have a creeper magnet on me, or a "If You're Significantly Older Person, Then Please Talk To Me!" sign on my forehead. What is it with people? I try so ahrd to reject the world and it keeps fighting against me. Shit, I don't even know where I'm going with this.
I need to stop thinking so much. Whatever, life's a bitch, people are asshats and love to get in my way, new life is gonna blow, and I've got much bigger plans for after college. Goodnight.
xx If There's A Prize For Rotten Judgement, I Guess I've Already Won That Marz
College definitely won't be how I always imagined it. Things are just gonna have to be different from everything else. My college time won't be like Jamie's. It'll probably line up more with Heather's, but it's still not gonna be a thing like hers. It's just an odd situation to be in and now that it's getting closer and closer to the actual "hey it's time for college!" date, I'm starting to realize how hard it's gonna be.
But then I look at myself and say, well wait a minute, I don't exactly fit the college stereotype. That college lifestyle isn't really me anyways. I guess I am more of a just hang out in my room and work sort of person. I guess I am a goody goody after all. Get shit done, work hard, reject harmful things... Damn. Might as well take class online. I don't want to deal with meeting people and end up meeting a shit ton of creepers. I mean, I want to meet people and make new friends, but I attract a weird crowd. It's like I have a creeper magnet on me, or a "If You're Significantly Older Person, Then Please Talk To Me!" sign on my forehead. What is it with people? I try so ahrd to reject the world and it keeps fighting against me. Shit, I don't even know where I'm going with this.
I need to stop thinking so much. Whatever, life's a bitch, people are asshats and love to get in my way, new life is gonna blow, and I've got much bigger plans for after college. Goodnight.
xx If There's A Prize For Rotten Judgement, I Guess I've Already Won That Marz
Friday, June 3, 2011
Band Banquet/Grad Practice/Six Flags
So I'm laying in bed wearing my favorite flannel pants on my legs and a Racetrac slushie of my signature Dr Pepper, Cherry, and Coke resting on my gut with the straw positioned to be in my mouth to enable hands free enjoyment.
Grad practice was kinda cool. It was weird seeing my class, seeing people I haven't seen in years, and seeing people I've never seen before. I'm on row six of like, twenty rows, ha ha. It'll be fun!
Then we went to Six Flags. It was me, Jamie, Heather, Erin, and Gabe trolling around the park. We actually only rode three rides and spent a huge chunk of the day just chillin' in the shade. It was fun, though, meeting up with people and just being goofy. I really like rollercoasters... they make me forget about everything else in the world. It's just me and my thrill. I'm smiling and laughing and just enjoying things without remembering the harsh reality.
Then we rushed home for band banquet which we literally got there JUST in time for! It was crazy watching the shows... I still remember the work and the drill. I could march my show if you threw me on a field right now! The slideshow was nice, I got more cheers for my picture than I thought I'd get! And then Sealy did the whole thing where the seniors stood on the stage holding our senior gifts while he gave a speech about us. Honestly I zoned out, but it was weird realizing that whoah, these are my fellow band seniors. I've spent SO much time with them over the past four years, some of them since middle school. It's weird.
While zoned out, I had the most fantastic fantasy. I pictured myself in ten years at a gallery opening, except that I was the gallery coordinator and was throwing this cool party for an artist. Damn, that's like, my perfect job. It would give me a reason to dress up/nice, it would be fun, and the pay sure ain't bad... oh, a girl can dream!
I'm not sleepy, just a tad exhausted. Gotta wake up early for work, ugh. I just wanna sleep in once! I haven't been able to in at least a month!
xx If I Wake Up Tomorrow Will You Still Be Here Marz
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Graduation Dress :(
So I realized that I don't really want to wear my snakeskin dress to graduation since it's strapless. Normally this would be fine, except that I can't find a single dress online that I like. Scratch that, I found a few, but they don't come in my size. Smalls don't even fit right all the time. It's rare to find a 00 or XS... being tiny really blows. I know I won't find anything, but I think I might try Northpark on Sunday and see what I can find amongst the designer boutiques. Bahh. Never has shopping made me feel so sad.
I just feel worn out. Tired, but not sleepy. Dissapointed.
We had the last guard banquet tonight. The Three Muchachas enjoyed their key to the strip corner and I think Alexis is really happy to have been the first official Flag Queen. I even knighted her with the Sabre Queen sabre, ha ha. A truly magical moment. Alliyah wrote me the FUNNIEST letter! Lisa's was witty funny. Jade's almost made me cry, it was so sweet! Val's was really nice, too. It was a nice night :)
And I still have this blasted cough. Ughhh. Damn, I'm more tired than I thought. Time to go crawl into bed and play sudoku til I fall asleep. Six Flags tomorrow :)
xx Over The Mountains And The Seas Marz
I just feel worn out. Tired, but not sleepy. Dissapointed.
We had the last guard banquet tonight. The Three Muchachas enjoyed their key to the strip corner and I think Alexis is really happy to have been the first official Flag Queen. I even knighted her with the Sabre Queen sabre, ha ha. A truly magical moment. Alliyah wrote me the FUNNIEST letter! Lisa's was witty funny. Jade's almost made me cry, it was so sweet! Val's was really nice, too. It was a nice night :)
And I still have this blasted cough. Ughhh. Damn, I'm more tired than I thought. Time to go crawl into bed and play sudoku til I fall asleep. Six Flags tomorrow :)
xx Over The Mountains And The Seas Marz
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I Know I Should Be Working But...
I want to kick back and blog for a bit. It's funny, I've been essay typing all night long, but now's my change to use my shitty causal grammar and sentence structure.
Today was shitty as usual. It took me fifteen minutes to put my new earrings in! The left ear is really good, ha ha, and the wire snaked in easy. Something's wrong with the right one. I think it's infected, cause I could not, for the life of me, get the wire through the hole. I think the hole's also crooked. It just hurts so bad and keeps bleeding and leaking that nasty gunk. But I'm stretching them from 20 gauge to 16, so the pain is expected. Again, left ear, no pain. Right ear, shit ton of pain. Either way, people liked them :) So do I!
Env sys was a blow off joke and valuable reading time. During second I rewrote a scene from Fallen for my Glogster and it came out pretty good :) I might use it in a story I write in the future. Jamie was working on the guard slideshow next to me and damn, there's lots of me pictures. Most of them I have food in my mouth, go figure. Then English... oh man, I dread English. Apparently the syntax/diction project was due yesterday and I've spent all night long finishing it. I'm still not done, ugh. Then I have 11 more posts to do on the forums and finish up my Glogster and bed by 2?
Dad mentioned wanting to get me another graduation gift. A smaller one, like a keepsake, that I can have forever. So I said "Like what, your name tattooed on my forehead?" And he said "Something like that.". Well I don't really want anything from him... except maybe good grace and forgiveness and acceptance? Cause I'm already gonna get the new OS X Lion this summer for the computer. DAD CAN I HAVE A COACH BAG? Bahahahaha, he'd just laugh. Plus the design I want is way outdated at this point and hard to find, sad life. I dunno, lately he's just been offering to buy me this, book me that, pay for this, over and over and over again. Why? A few months ago I would get reprimanded for spending any money, and now that I sort of have it, he wants to buy me things. It's weird, I don't like it.
I dunno. I'm so ready for all this bullshit to be done with. The rest of the week will be kind of easy. Tomorrow is who knows what, then guard banquet. Friday is graduation practice (And telling Mr. Moreno how to say my name!), then Six Flags, and then band banquet/HBBC budget meeting/longest Sealy speech ever. I wish I went shopping for new dresses to wear to banquets, cause I'm wearing the safer black lacey tiered dress to guard and my indigo and black snakeskin mini dress to band. Black, like my soul.
Alright, time to go back to work. Back to a looooot of work. On the plus, I passed economics with an 86 :) But no one at dinner cared.
xx She Don't Got A Lot To Say, But There's Something About Her Marz
Today was shitty as usual. It took me fifteen minutes to put my new earrings in! The left ear is really good, ha ha, and the wire snaked in easy. Something's wrong with the right one. I think it's infected, cause I could not, for the life of me, get the wire through the hole. I think the hole's also crooked. It just hurts so bad and keeps bleeding and leaking that nasty gunk. But I'm stretching them from 20 gauge to 16, so the pain is expected. Again, left ear, no pain. Right ear, shit ton of pain. Either way, people liked them :) So do I!
Env sys was a blow off joke and valuable reading time. During second I rewrote a scene from Fallen for my Glogster and it came out pretty good :) I might use it in a story I write in the future. Jamie was working on the guard slideshow next to me and damn, there's lots of me pictures. Most of them I have food in my mouth, go figure. Then English... oh man, I dread English. Apparently the syntax/diction project was due yesterday and I've spent all night long finishing it. I'm still not done, ugh. Then I have 11 more posts to do on the forums and finish up my Glogster and bed by 2?
Dad mentioned wanting to get me another graduation gift. A smaller one, like a keepsake, that I can have forever. So I said "Like what, your name tattooed on my forehead?" And he said "Something like that.". Well I don't really want anything from him... except maybe good grace and forgiveness and acceptance? Cause I'm already gonna get the new OS X Lion this summer for the computer. DAD CAN I HAVE A COACH BAG? Bahahahaha, he'd just laugh. Plus the design I want is way outdated at this point and hard to find, sad life. I dunno, lately he's just been offering to buy me this, book me that, pay for this, over and over and over again. Why? A few months ago I would get reprimanded for spending any money, and now that I sort of have it, he wants to buy me things. It's weird, I don't like it.
I dunno. I'm so ready for all this bullshit to be done with. The rest of the week will be kind of easy. Tomorrow is who knows what, then guard banquet. Friday is graduation practice (And telling Mr. Moreno how to say my name!), then Six Flags, and then band banquet/HBBC budget meeting/longest Sealy speech ever. I wish I went shopping for new dresses to wear to banquets, cause I'm wearing the safer black lacey tiered dress to guard and my indigo and black snakeskin mini dress to band. Black, like my soul.
Alright, time to go back to work. Back to a looooot of work. On the plus, I passed economics with an 86 :) But no one at dinner cared.
xx She Don't Got A Lot To Say, But There's Something About Her Marz
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