Shaman King

After 6 years of following the series, I've finally finished it.

I remember the first time I read it. I bought the Shonen Jump magazine that featured the chapter where we met Faust VIII. This was when I fell in love. And today, I read Faust's death and felt sad, because at the moment he died, it was like the series was over for me.

So of course, I'm sad to be done with this fantastic series, but at the same time, I'm happy to finally know how it ended. Faust joins Eliza, Hao becomes Shaman King, everyone gets old, and Yoh and Anna have a kid. A beautiful series that I carried with me through my adolesence can now be put on the shelve.

But I might pull it down for a quick read sometime...

xx Funbari No Uta Marz

Enigma

Every time I get a message from
him, I get really
excited.

Why?

xx Someone As Beautiful As You Could Do Much Better I'm Sure Marz

It's Like a Repeat Of May

I wish I could remember what it was that set me off so bad last April/May. Something really brought me down and I was at the lowest point that I'd ever been in my life.

Today I felt the same.

I laughed about it so much when I first saw... and then as the day turned to night, I realized something in me wasn't right. I'm not sure what I was feeling earlier... jealousy? Hate? Loneliness? Defeat? Perhaps a mix of those. I talked to Heather and Jamie about it a little, but they were only adding fuel to my fire of anger. Then when I told Forrest about it, he slapped me in the face, so to speak. Which is good, because it really opened my eyes. He had a point, though. Maybe these feelings were mutual.

I don't know. Usually whenever something pertaining to this subject is on my mind, I go pick up that paintbrush and work on the painting from last November. I hope to finish it one day. No one will understand what it means to me, though. No one will grasp why I started it, how I changed it, and why I continue to work on it and make it perfect. It's been 7 months, I know, but it's been a really long and hard 7 months.

Things are finally shaping up in my favor, but if I could have everything the old way, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I don't know. I sat here earlier and drew back on lots of words that were said. I can remember them perfectly. It's gonna haunt me, and I really need to stop this. I need a great distraction.

xx No Last Words To Say, Only Memories Remain, A Farewell Then, My Path Goes Forever On Marz

BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

BAHAHAHAA! WOW! I can't stop laughing.

A day apart? How classy.

This is either a slap in the face, or a brilliant sign of what I am in comparison.

Have fun.

xx I'd Run Away If I Could Help It, But I Can't Remember To Forget Your Face Marz

In My Life

I've kissed four boys in my life.
I've kissed each of those boys this year.
None of them I was dating at the time.

I kissed them all at night.
One in the car.
One on a rock.
One on my porch.
One on a bed. And then on my porch.

Three of them had long, shaggy hair.
Two of them had a hat on.
Three of them were wearing Vans.
Two of them had Italian blood.

The first one is too immature for me.
The second one is too insane for me.
The third doesn't want me anymore.
The fourth hasn't answered my texts in two weeks.

What is happening to me?

xx You're The Dangerous Kind Marz

Two Years Ago

One summer night two years ago, a girl and a boy were both in their respective houses, texting each other into the late hours of the morning. The two had been friends for a few years and these late night texts were nothing out of the ordinary. Except that from the girl's perspective, she loved these conversations more than anything else because she had a huge crush on this boy ever since they were in middle school.

She loved everything about him: his humor, his music, his douchiness, and most importantly, that he liked talking to her. She'd lived a life of being independent and didn't spend too much time making bonds with people, much less boys. He was the first boy she ever really liked.

That night, things changed. It was getting to be around 2 AM and the two started diving into a much more personal conversation about how the one would rate the other person's looks. Eventually, he realized that she liked him and she felt the need to be completely honest with him and she told him how she felt.

She told him everything.

Afterward, he told her that he did like her in the past. And that he still kind of did. This made her the happiest she'd felt in a long time. This was also a new feeling for her, for she finally was fulfilling a long time aspiration of hers. The clock ticked on, and the two kept going back and forth, back and forth.

What if they screw up? They lose their friendship.

She was afraid. But while the fear did caution her, she didn't care. The girl knew exactly what she wanted. The boy did some thinking, because in the end, it was his call. This was new for him. New for both of them, really.

He asked her to be his girlfriend.

Wrote For The Eclipse, Wrote For The Virgin

Died for the beauty, the one in the garden...

Oh emo Nightwish lyrics. You warm my heart. So I've been in total bum mode for the past few days... like to the point where I don't even get dressed or fix my face. And you know how much I love face fixing. And face breaking.

I FINALLY MADE A NEW LAYOUT FOR MY WEBSITE!

Now I just have to finish making the actual pages. I really like this layout :) It's super cute.

So today we had "squad practice"... which was anything but. I woke up at 10:40 and went to Sarah's so that we could watch Harry Potter and eat pazzia. Oh my gosh, I haven't said pazzia since 8th grade math class when we made up this amazing new kind of pizza for a project. Good times. Speaking of good times, I was a total creeper in middle school... always slipping notes into boys' lockers and giving Anthony ice cream money.

Speaking of the little doucher. I've come to realize something about myself. With him, even as early as middle school, I never had to act. I would only have to act... normal. Natural. Everything was natural. Now'n days, I feel like I'm putting on this charade of being a tough/mean/doucher kind of girl and it's really weird. Now it's hard to stop acting for anyone.

Except for that one night.

The only moment we were alone.

xx The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place Marz

Summer Is Awesome

Wow. Just wow.

I wish I knew what to type.

He kissed me!

xx Come Take Me Higher Marz

Just Watch The Fireworks

So tonight I went and watched fireworks with Heather, Michael, and Gabriel. It was fun... we were all just chillin on the blanket, laughing, having a grand ol time. But then when the firework started up, I got really sad. Like, it felt like someone had died. The fireworks were pretty, of course, but my heart wasn't in it. It never is. Fireworks make me feel... lonely. More so this year, I think, but who knows? Wish you were here... you would have loved this.

That's what I'm going to name my angel painting. "Wish You Were Here... You Would Have Loved This". The name is comprised of two songs which share the feelings expressed in this piece. It looks better now that I fixed the neck slightly. I still have a ton of work to do, though. This one's for you.

Switching gears to a different someone. He really needs to learn to answer his phone, because I get really sad when he doesn't. And then when he does, I'm awesome! But he usually doesn't so YOU SUCK. Jeeez. I still haven't formulated an opinion of you.

Oh well. Time to do something.

xx You Have Such Oceans Within Marz

GivesMeHope.com

...doesn't give me hope. If anything, it reminds me how mediocre and dreary my life is compared to everyone else's super crazy awesome stories.

So what do I want? I don't even know. I want to be alone, yeah, but at the same time, I'm so falling behind. I'm like, super odd one out now and it's annoying how little things send my heart fluttering, which means I obviously don't want to really be alone.

I have to figure out what's up.

xx I Walk Forever Marz