I Need To Stop Posting Mopey Things

Cause no one wants to read that shit, and I don't like reading that shit when I look back at my posts.

Soooooo what's going on in my life. I'm sewing Sailor Mars and packing up Yellow House. I can't believe it's time to say goodbye to it in two days. Wednesday is our last day together and after that... maaaan. Maybe I should carve creepy things into the floor boards. I loved and hated the house, so it's probably for the best that it's time to say bye. Where the hell will I park now... I guess in the neighborhoods?

Test time in two days. And again with the wrenching anxiety, I'm sure. Why wouldn't there be horrible anxiety! I'm just not mentally checked into this class and I'm having a hard time even trying to be remotely interested. I just want to pass... so far I'm sitting at a 78, which is good. It could always be worse, but it's good.

What will I do this week... sit around and wish I was sewing, probably. Might do some writing, or sketching, or something that I can do with my hands. Or hell, sit in the VF chatrooms all day and night.

When I drive to Denton tomorrow, I'll be listening to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning, but there will be no Kidd. I don't believe in an afterlife, but the legacy he left behind is incredible. I can't think of too many other people who will be remembered as highly as him. Mornings just won't be the same... I listened to him every morning when I used to drive to high school, and all the other mornings that I was awake early enough for. I downloaded the app so I could listen in the afternoon when he was off the air. It's just hard to believe.

xx Flappy, Fat, And Lazy Marz

Test Anxiety?

I've never really had text anxiety. I'm usually pretty cool with tests and take them as they come and tend to do pretty alright.

But tonight? I feel like absolute shit and I have a feeling most of it is related to tomorrow's test. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with the content. Shareholders, railway systems, industrialization, court cases... it's just not something I feel comfortable with. I'd rather take a 5,000 question art history exam.

I'm just generally sad feeling. It's a bummer, but whatever. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. What am I singing tonight...




xx Still They Talk Anyway Marz

So This Is Life

Just when things seem perfect, I always find that something falls out of place and wrecks it all. All sorts of things. And then there's this particular anxious feeling that I'm all too familiar with, from feeling it most of my life.

There's a lot to do. I don't know where to start it all. I could start with my desk, and expand outwards. Or start in the very back and work my way up to the desk. It's all the same.



I think I know how you feel, Aldonza.

xx So You Can Curse Or You Can Kiss Me Marz

I Wish I Could Sing

Shit. My throat's always hoarse.

xx Let Down Your Guards Marz

Anxiety Over Nothing

Welp it's official, I'm in an anxious rut of anxiety about everything. About asking for utilities money, about checking the messages on my phone, about seeing people, about going home, about my rabbits, about everything. I just can't stop worrying. Oh, there's also the fact that I don't have a job and there's costumes to do.

And then of course, there's always a good uncomfortable memory every so often.

Gah. I just want to go to Seattle and forget about everything. I'm even having weird airport anxiety, what's up with that? Everything is bugging me. It's probably why I haven't been eating lately... I'm just not hungry when I should be. It's like I've replaced being hungry with being worried.

How do I fix it?

xx All Children Young To Slay Marz