Finally, A Full Week!

Well as of today, I've finally had all of my classes! Psych is fun and I'm way pumped for it. There's a girl bawling her eyes out in the hallway and I still don't know why I asked her if she was ok because clearly she wasn't. Goddammit, slip of the tongue.

Oh well. College is way fun when you're walking back to your dorm and there's a clump of people in the hallway playing with stolen drunk goggles or just laughing and chilling. And it's even more fun when you get the RAs to play along, too! It's kind of creepy walking the grounds at night though, everything is really dark...

Man, my hair's fading and I am no me gusta. I feel like the crazy colors help people remember me/find me. OH MY GOD, THAT REMINDS ME. Presenting my art in design today was so killer when Furrh got to the sex one.

"Oh very nice! How'd you do this?"
"Fornication."
"Ah, I don't want to know where you put the marker."

I had two people ask me how I did it, and even made a friend off one of them! Today was fun :) I feel like the days are just gonna be better and better until portfolio review date. Ugh, I do NOT want to think about that. Man my stomach hurts. I'm supposed to be taking Prilosec every morning, but I'm such a zombie that I forget to :P Maybe that would help!

Tomorrow is gonna rock! Drawing in the morning, then a bit of a break, then art appreciation, and then I pack up my bags and head home! And by home, I mean LITTLE HIDEAWAY FOR A LONELY HEART, as Anette would sing. Ha ha nah, but it will be a nice night and then Friday I'll head home home to pack up my costumes and pick up Heazar and we will DRIVE BACK TO DALLAS YAY FOR A-FEST! I can't wait :D I'm excited for my Marceline costume because it's just jeans, a tank top, and those cool new boots. Sorry Heather, I didn't have the time to make the red guitar. Next year I'll put something together! And I'm also way excited for my Kraehe dress because IT FITS NOW. YAY!

I need to try to not spend a whole lot of money this weekend. I can only see myself splurging on a Gundam kit or a car sticker Hmmmm. Who knows.

xx Awaken, Awaken, Take The Land That Must Be Taken Marz

Spray Paint?!

Today was a fun day, I think. I woke up to the sound of Sealy's metronome at Homestead and jumped out of bed to watch the Marchathon parade from my front yard. This was the first year I got to watch and didn't have to march :D It was really nice and good to see the kids one more time. I doubt I'll see them until Homecoming. OH HOMECOMING! I think I'll get Heather and Jamie to wear our shitty friend mums with me for it.

After that, I showered and took my car to get new oil and other random parts. While that was being worked on, Heather and I went shooooooopping. I only bought my Marceline boots and spray paint for them and a comfy but sassy skirt from Forever 21. My boots are outside drying and I hope they look good! I wish I had a wig and had the time/money to fashion Marceline's red Axe-Bass. This chick seriously nailed the costume and I'm so jealous. Her face has the perfect bone structure, too. Lucky bitch.

And apparently I can't resize images in Chrome and that picture will probably be huge. Damn, I don't have skinny jeans either, but I hope my regular jeans will fit in the boots. My boots are slouchy and more stylish than above, too. That wig makes it, though :( Gah. Maybe there's a decent wig on Ebay. And I want to make her Axe-Bass. Wait, what, apparently she has two?! Goddammit! I'll have to get crafty and figure out how to make one of them. No idea where to even start, though, and if I did, I wouldn't have anything ready by Friday. Screw you Heather for having a prop-less character!

Well dinner was awkward as ever, and dad's cake came out terrible. There's gotta be something odd with the oven, because that cake was in there for 40 minutes and the middle was still gooey. That has never happened ever. Oh well. Now I'm sitting in the office wrapped in a blanket cause it's really cold :( This keyboard sucks ass. I want to go back to Denton.

xx In This House On A Hill Marz

Eeeew, Dell Blogging.

So I'm home blogging on my good 'ol Dell. JK, I hate this piece of shit. I'm having trouble using the keyboard, too. It's almost painful to have to keep on editing all the screw ups every sentence, ha ha.

I spent ALL day watching LA Ink and napping. I finally showered at like, five thirty, ha ha. Now I feel clean and now I don't smell like a man! Oh, my Kraehe wig also came in the mail! It's perfect and very very cute :) Now I just have to take the dress in on Sunday to get altered and we'll be in great shape! I'm so excited! This time next week, we'll be rocking out in the Hyatt! Which reminds me... I need to get those boots. I'll just get some at Target and spray them with Heather tomorrow.

What else... I don't know. I wish I had the whole weekend to spend with him :/

xx Turn To Gold Marz

Last Day of Summer!

Wow, it just hit me that it's the last day of summer.

Woke up at 11ish to that weird dream... then I showered and went to get lunch with Dorothy. After that, we walked around campus to see where our classes were. The art building is sooooo cool! Then I went to pick up my books and hauled them back to my room and pretty much stayed there until 3, when we had this mandatory convocation for freshman with A MARIACHI BAND! Way cool. And seriously, after that me and Dorothy just sat in our room quietly drawing while listening to music. I started a drawing of my lute playing knight today and must say, I'm really liking this story that popped into my head last night :) It needs a lot of work, but could possibly be amazing.

Let's see... then we went to meet up with one of her friends at the pool and dang, the gym is niiiiice! The pool is really cool cause it's so many shapes and not just a big square box. Then on our way back to the dorm, we ran into a clump of art majors from the REAL community that we're supposed to be with! They're so cool and we ended up befriending this one crazy guy named David. Like he's wild! Then we met up with Ryne and walked with him to Subway across the street for late night dinner and had lots and lots of laughs. Then the three of us came back to the room and Curtis came up and we just sat around watching videos and listening to music and telling horribly awkward and funny stores all night. Dang I like the people here :)

And now I really do need to go to bed. I have to be up at 6:45 to get ready and attempt to eat breakfast before my first drawing class at 8 :) Sooooo exciting! And then class with Dorothy at 2, and then I'm home bound! And by home I mean Dallas. Duh.

xx Throw The Knife Into The Stream Marz

A Dream?!

I was on a stage dancing with some people from school and it soon turned into some sort of country line dance. Then the stage melted away to a outdoor field and everyone began dancing in a circle. I was with Cedric of all people, and we awkwardly grabbed hands and started dancing in the outer circle. Before I knew it, we were floating (Like in Howl's Moving Castle) and circled the air above us. I saw Karl looking at us from the ground. Ex girlfriend and best friend... I bet that must have sucked for him. We strayed from the dancing circle and flew through the air. As we began our decent, he held me like Howl held Sophie and tightened his grip on my waist. We glided right over Anthony and friends and landed on our feet surprisingly gracefully. Then we collapsed out of exhaustion and other people came around to lay with us. "I wish someone got that on film" we both said.

Jeremy Enecio

I just found this guy while looking for Michael Hussar prints... WOW. I AM IN AWE.

My Day So Far

Well it started with me waking up at 11:12 and Dorothy coming home from working out with some friends. We got dressed and went to Maple Hall to try out the vegan cafeteria and it ROCKED. I had a wheat wrap with squash, zucchini, basil pesto, and green onions with a side of these damn good red potatoes in some kind of seasoned cold oil and vinegar. It was very very good and we plan on coming back frequently :)

We ate with her friends Josh and Austin and then the four of us went shopping on the Square. We hit up this cool vintage/thrift store where I saw some swords, battle axes, and war helmets I want to come back and get. Then we went to the used book/CD/vinyl/movie shop where I found TONS of awesome art books! I got this one called A History of Illuminated Manuscripts which is filled with gorgeous pictures and lots of facts :) And the while I was there, they had the one book I've been lusting after for years: Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry.

I didn't want to spend that much today, so I'll go back later for that one. Oh my God, I've loved the art in that book since I was a little kid and would kill to own it. Maybe next week or something I'll get it. I feel like I'm going to be buying *a lot* of art books from that store. They have so many nice sections on Medieval art, Ren art, Gothic art, typography, and churches. I'm in love!

I don't know what else we're going to do today. There's a foam party tonight where I think we throw wet foam at each other, ha ha. Weird. I really need to go get my textbooks and figure out where the hell my first class is. HKWY? What's that?! I also need to walk to the art hall cause I haven't been there before, and walk to the ESSC and GAB buildings again because I think I forgot where they are.

I'm having so much fun so far :)

xx You Were Mine Until The End Of Time Marz

Last Post In C-Town!

Ahhh, and here's my last post from this crappy office at home. My stuff is all packed up and ready to load, and can't wait to get out of here!

Awww, I found that cute picture of my boys. Someone uploaded it on dA and it gave me the warm fuzzies inside :) I feel like I might have seen it before... oh well. Seeing Emppu covered in purple and seeing Marco's mane always give me the smiles.

So I'm reallllly digging my hair :) It's perfect! I only wish the blue was a little brighter, but it should fade nicely. It's so soft and shiny and I can't wait til I carefully wash it again to get rid of the blowout and shape it back to its natural wavy mess! GET READY WORLD. I'm awesome.

What else... My black tutu came in the mail today! It's perfect and is currently being flattened by a multitude of books and 2004 copies of Shonen Jump. And my Gundam sticker is proudly on my car, so I feel complete driving on the roads. Now all that's left in the mail for me is my wig and Vera bag! Which means I really need to go get a wig cap. But Curtis gave me my last check today, a whole $63 bucks! Hey, whatever helps helps.

I just realized how damn busy the next three weeks are gonna be. This weekend, doctor and dad's birthday (Which I totally forgot about). Next weekend, A-Fest. Next weekend after that, I might be in Philly. Ugh, so busy! This is bullshit. I thought this was supposed to be easier...

I do like this song a lot, though. I love driving to it :)


xx In This Heart, There'll Never Be Another Marz

400th Post!

Happy 400th post, blog!

So I was packing today and noticed that my backpack, which really isn't a backpack at all, has a broken strap. Funny, I just used it yesterday and the strap wasn't broken! Whatever... So mom walked in on me eyeing "the" Vera tote bag and decided she wants a Vera bag. So she ends up picking out two sale bags and because I had a coupon, he suggested I get a bag too :D So I got "the" Vera bag in the Safari Sunset print (which I surprisingly like...), which will be amazing for my school books!


Yay, I love getting new things, especially things I don't have to pay for :D LOOK WORLD, I'M NOT SOME INTIMIDATING, BLACK SHIRT WEARING BITCH. I have style, and I like name brands. It's gonna kill me someday... I need to stop reading InStyle. But you know, name brand designers have fantastic ads! I loooove the Tacori, Chanel, and Bvlgari ones. They're always so sleek and unique!




So I bought nine yards of black feather trim and this pretty black lace for my Kraehe dress. I was worried because I had NO IDEA how long the skirt was around the hem and the nine yards just covered it! I had about four inches to spare! I got the feathers glued down and now I need to sew the lace on. By hand. Ughhhhhhhhhh.

Time to go get ice cream with the friends. Duces!

xx Beeeeeyond The Sea Marz

Mobbed/Bye Jamie :(

Is a cool show. It was incredible to see this guy stage this giant musical proposal complete with step teams, a marching band, cheerleaders, ballerinas, tap dancers, and actors. Way way way cool, although if I was that girl, I would have said NO to getting married right then and there. What a dumb hooker :P Cool show, though!

Soooo... I'm pulling Kraehe out of the suitcase and getting it ready for A-Fest in TWO WEEKS. Since I'm tutu-less, I just ordered a black rehearsal tutu for about $50. It got good reviews and should be pretty close to perfect for my costume. I also want to take the bodice in to get it better fitted to my chest (Thanks mom :/) and go buy black feathers to line the skirt with. I would like to buy a wig for it, but I just bought the tutu plus my badge and that puts me at $90 :(

I like that one a lot and it's not much ($25), but I have not the money for a wig. Wigs are like, the last thing I buy ever :P Although this one, like Ivy, kind of needs the wig. Damn. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten that art... fifty bucks I could have cosplayed with :P Gahhh. We'll see. I need to deposit my last check... which only covers today's expenses, ha ha.

This is exciting! I packed up my shoes, nail polish, jewelry, hair things, some bathroom things, shirts, and kind of started organizing things. I put a picture of me and Jamie jumping in my Belle frame and need to finish my friend frame like, tomorrow. For real. Did my laundry today and now I have clean sheets for my dorm! I also realized I have *a lot* of clothes in the washer than I'm taking with me. Oh God. I made lists of things to pack, like bathroom stuff, clothes, desk stuff, and misc stuff. I feel like I need moar homey touches... So I have two lamps, two frames, bathroom bunny, and some LED orchids. I want to bring more... Maybe Shining Gundam since he won't break as easily as Burning Gundam. And Eric, gotta bring him. Oooh, can I bring Poe? I kinda wanna bring a few paintings.

This is hard. So hard. PACKING BLOWS. It's depressing and hurts my back like crazy! Waaaaahhh, I'm done complaining. It's so weird to think that five nights from now, I'll be typing from my brand new dorm room/home. It's odd, really odd. But so exciting :)

It was so weird to see Jamie leave this morning. It felt like another early morning over there. It didn't feel like goodbye. It's weird, I feel like I'm going to see her tomorrow or something, like we're gonna go get Qdoba and go shopping and get snow cones and lay on the couch and talk about our dumb as girly dream lives while watching/falling asleep to romantic comedies and/or Mean Girls. Or maybe it'd be a night where we'd go get dinner real late and I'd say something completely stupid, but she'd think it's the funniest thing and would do the ugly, silent laugh that causes her to gasp for air because she's laughing so hard she can't breathe. And then I'd start laughing and we'd be making a scene. Damn, I'm gonna miss my best friend :(

xx Possum's Last Dance Marz

Snape...

Wow. I was reading IMDB and started looking up the last few Harry Potter movies when I came across info about Snape and his memories about Lilly. And I remembered how horribly emotional that part was, when we saw him dying and Harry taking his tears/memories. And the memories themselves were just... wow. Who knew that the angsty, mysterious, cruel professor presumably put in the books to make Harry's life hell was actually the most torn, heartaching character in the series?

It's just incredible the love he had for Lilly. What's more incredible is how it transformed him and how he acted towards people (Mostly Harry). It's also crazy how JKR strung all of this together and shocked us all in the last book. It just ties so much together. I read somewhere that the series wasn't about Harry and Voldemort, but Harry and Snape. So so soooo sweet. I could almost say Part 2 was my favorite next to Half Blood Prince. Again, focus on Snape...

I cannot WAIT until the complete 8 movie box set comes out. I will buy it so fast.

xx Want To Vanish Inside Your Kiss Marz

Good God.

Living at home is so unbearable. I don't know what I did wrong. You know what? I have panic attacks and anxiety from mom. There's no reason she should make me cry in bed at night and before work and after school and after dinner. Whatever. A week from now, my bags will be packed and my boxes ready to go. My clothes and makeup and soaps and shoes all packed away next to the pile of dormy furnishings. I'm bringing my big vase of roses, bunnies, some of my movies, most of my art supplies, sketchbooks, and maybe a few favorite pieces of art. And I need to finish my friend picture frame. Man this is gonna be so fun!

I'm excited. I have a pretty solid sketch of what I want my next tattoo to be like. I might try and tweak a few lines, but JP'll get the idea. I want to go in this week when he's around to see what he can do and get an estimate so I can start saving up now :P Oh I'm so excited! This is gonna be so cool, I hope it comes out nicely :) I know JP can do a great job, I just hope he likes the idea... I'm such a sappy girl. But come on, I just got so inspired from my favorite movies and art. I'm liking this, it's finally something that has meaning and encompasses things I love :) I'll grow up someday.

I read this about tattoo roses:
"Rose are by far the most popular tattoo design and represents love in all its forms. The rose tattoo however has a dark history with roses being tattooed onto those people who were sentenced to death in the 16th century. If by chance they managed to get away, they would eternally be marked with the rose and whoever saw it would know of their crimes."

xx Once She Imagined She Lived In A Castle Marz

So, Endoscopy.

Well that was an interesting day. I'm glad I got to spend it with Jamie :) It was fun watching Maury with her in my prep room because that's our favorite show to watch together. She made waiting fun!

But when my nurse wheeled me into the surgery room, I did get a little panicked. So many tubes and cords to attatch to me. I was so alone. But the nurses came back with the doctor and after calling me pretty, he had them spray my throat and start the sedating. I remember laying on my side crying while the anesthesia was creeping in on me. Keep thinking happy things, they said.

And then I woke up in my prep room. Somehow, Jamie got me into the car and we went to Arby's and came home and I ate and got sauce on my shirt. And then she left and I fell asleep... and then woke up. And I've been so awake all night. Even now, I'm super awake. I'm kind of afraid of panicking again. It's at the back of my mind. God, I just want to go to sleep. I have to open in the morning and start my double. Maybe they'll let me go home...

Either way, it was an interesting day. It was scary alright, but it's over with now.

xx Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life Marz

I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me.

Walking to bed at night scares me. I'm shaking. My hands and arms are twitching. Emma scares me. My heart is racing and breathing is hard. Mom called out when the house was dark and it scared me.

What's happening to me? Why am I so... paranoid? Anxious? Why don't I feel safe and calm?

I think it has to do with failure. Failure makes me nervous and causes the panic. I died twice while playing Minecraft and I think that set me off. Same thing happens at work when I mess up. Same thing also happens at home when I mess up. Why do I want to curl up in a ball and cry? I'm so lost, and that's making things worse. Will I wake up and still be panicked? I've been panicking all day since I woke up. Why? What's freaking me out so much?

I'm really scared right now. I can't calm down.

xx My Spirit Of The Sea Marz

Broke My Vera Virginity!

Yeah-uh! Bought my first Vera Bradley bag. Now I can be cool like Heather, Jamie, Mom, Shelby, Megan, Amy, and every other girl out there. I like this print, Symphony In Hue, because it's toned down. Black, but with a splash of color. And it's got SO MANY POCKETS. I enjoy it :) Cost me almost $100 because I bought a tiny wallet pouch with it... I like it, though!

I saw some model kits on Ebay that I REALLY wanna get. See, until I watch more Gundam series, I only plan on buying G Gundam model kits. I have my 1/100 Burning Gundam and then my action figure Shining and Nobel Gundams. I saw a 1/100 Rising Gundam online which has my attention :) Rising Gundam was cool because Raine was such a badass piloting it! I see a lot of G Gundam 1/144 kits, but those are too small. I like the 1/100 or bigger! I'd LOVE to get a 1/100 Gundam Rose. Hell, I might as well get Gundam Maxter, Bolt Gundam, and Dragon Gundam to complete THE SHUFFLE ALLIANCE! Oh I'd also kill to get a 1/100 Nobel Gundam, but all there seem to be are 1/144 ones. I could live with that.

I'm such a nerd. I plan on picking up Gundam Wing next. Hopefully it's on Netflix and I can dork out in college :) I have to finish Chobits, then start Princess Tutu, then maybe see if there's anymore good anime. I WANNA WATCH/BUY BLACK BUTLER. That show looks so cool! Dear God I'm such a huge dork!

Hmmm, that's about all for now. Heather and I went up to the school to visit the guard and say hi to the directors. They missed the Truck Stop Waitresses as we're lovingly called. Well that was my nickname first from Mr. Sealy, but since we all hung out all the time, the name expanded. Oh justw ait til I show up with blue and purple hair!

xx I Sailed Before A Thousand Moons Marz

Goddammit.

In my attempt at making a new layout, I completely messed up. Turns out my codes are a bit outdated compared to what Blogger will display. So even if I paste my Marco layout into the HTML box, it won't read it. Wow, that sucks. And I can't see where to fix my header... wow this REALLY REALLY sucks. So now I have to dig back to my old lessons from Webmastering and figure something out. Ughhhhh. So retarded. Now I'm angry.

No, this is Blogger's fault. I'm too tired to deal with this sadness now. And I had some good ideas, too :(

xx And Heaven Knows I'm Not That Girl Marz

OH SNAP!

So I got my UD 15th Anniversary palette in the mail and LOVE it! I can't wait to try it out tonight :) I also can't wait to try out the shatter nail polish... maybe tomorrow.

So I need a train case for college, ha ha. I need something to store all my makeup! I think I'll bring all of it because sometimes I use the samples and old stuff. I like this from Sephora (Go figure):

But it's $92, so we'll see. And then while I was browsing Kat Von D's products (She had a pretty train case a while ago and now it's gone), I SAW NEW PALETTES.

I LOVE the first one, called Sinner. It's got my favorite grey in it that I've put a big dent in from my Metal Orchestra palette. I love those purples! And the second one is Saint. She really needs to stop naming things Saint or Sinner... it's getting old :/ I like this because of the range of neutrals! Plus I just like collecting her palettes :) I noticed that the packaging is slightly different from the other palettes. these ones look like the design is embossed in the cover instead of painted on. Cool.

I need to stop :P This is turning into an addiction... So what, I collect Disney figurines, action figures, books, and makeup... it could be worse. I JUST WANNA BE PRETTY. Ugh. I'm gonna try to not spend my tips on those palettes. I need a train case... I need a train case. But that's pricey too. Damn. I can't win!

xx Fields Of Avalon Call My Name Marz

Since I'm Sick...

I'm going to design my dream house some more. I remember being a kid and stealing the Toscano magazines from my mom so I could see the cool Medieval furniture and accessories.

Ughhhh, Cut My Stomach Out

Ugh, these pills I'm taking are making me feel so sick. Or maybe it's because I ate. Either way, I'm already feeling the side effects and this is the worst I've felt. I can't even focus on Say Yes To The Dress!

You know, after watching this show, I realized a lot about fashion I hardly noticed before. I now notice body shapes... and wow, I made a poor choice in my prom dress :/ Short girls shouldn't pick empire waists, and I was a dumbass and picked an empire waist. Why? All the black dresses looked tacky, there were hardly any grey dresses, and this was the only white dress there. I'm so weird. I wish I would have listened to my inner aesthetician... maybe I would have looked better on prom :/ Man, nothing about prom went right :P

God I feel like death. I feel sooooo sick now. I want to throw up and die and THROW THIS GODFORSAKEN BROKEN LAPTOP OUT.

xx Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend Marz

DO WANT.

Urban Decay is just amazing. I'm really loving their products more and more and am almost ready to splurge from my drugstore eyeliner for for of their award winning 24/7 ones. BUT THEY HAVE A NEW PALETTE!

Ooooh, it's the 15th Anniversary palette. Which means 15 new colors in a super sleek box set. On UD's website it goes for $55, which isn't bad for the quality and quantity. I assume Sephora is also selling it, maybe for a better price? Doubt it. I think this will be my next big splurge :) AND IF I BUY FROM SEPHORA ONLINE, I GET 5X POINTS ON MY DEBIT CARD! And free shipping. Super super super deal! Ok, I think I need to get it.

Anyways, today was nice. Woke up at 10:30, then went to lunch with this one guy I picked up off the streets (And had a very nice time), then stopped by Fruitealicious for a frozen raspberry lemonade, and now I'm sitting at home watching the AC repair guys fix the AC. I hope they fix it, cause this blows :P Well no, I lied. I can handle the hot air and the stuffy downstairs. Heat doesn't bother me too much, I'm fine with my fan on.

I think Jamie and Heather are on their way over now. I'm glad, because I could use some company. Plus Jamie's leaving me in two weeks :( Sadlife. And the old man was wrong, first lunch date was the 11th. Suck it.

xx And You Don't Know Why, But You're Dying To Try And Kiss The Girl Marz

If This Isn't Love, I Don't Know What Is.

Although I haven't bought it yet and still desperately want to read it, I read online that at the end of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Esmeralda dies in the fire and after she is buried, Quasi digs down into her grave to hold her dead body and stays there until he starves to death. Dear God, that's so romantically brutal.

Am I sick and twisted person? Sometimes I think so. Or maybe I just have an overactive imagination... I guess I'm always living with my head in the clouds. Damn, I really want to go watch Hunchback now. I love that damn movie :) COME ON, IT TAKES PLACE IN A GIANT CATHEDRAL. I LOVE CATHEDRALS. I really love the world cathedral, too. It's so powerful and has good colors going for it.

Annnnyways. No work in the morning, thank God! Sleep in time, but knowing how I've been sleeping the past few days... I'll probably wake up at seven and be pissy :P THAT DAMN RABBIT, I SWEAR TO GOD. I love her. Little Lita is just trying to be loved... My baby girl!

Ahhh, I don't know what I want to do right now. I'd like to write, actually. I do miss writing and since this is my computer now, I can start a new folder for my work :) Maybe I'll stick to short stories. There's so many old ideas I could revive and mess with! I should just listen to that Nox Arcana album some more and get inspired. It's like a shitty soundtrack to a gothy horror movie... the music isn't all that dynamic and isn't anything memorable, but it works. You can't always buy good music. It'll probably be nice to paint to sometime. Damn, I need a better chair for my room.

xx Buried Alive By Love Marz

I Noticed That

When I'm at work, I do this weird thing in my head. I think of songs and then translate them into German for the hell of it. It's something to do while rolling silver, cleaning dishes, and sweeping.

Wir tanzten und sangen den ganzen Nachmittag... or is it Wir tanzten und sangen alles Nachmittag? We danced and sang all afternoon... That's why I love German. It makes a lot of sense when you compare it to English. Und regen gewaschen Probleme weg... And rain washed troubles away. Wow, I remember a lot for not having class since sophomore year! I remember the words, it's just conjugating the verbs that I forget sometimes. Can has trip to Germany now?

Ha ha, this morning was hilarious. I come downstairs to eat at nine thirty like normal. I open the fridge and decide on the vodka sauce I ate last night. So I throw the pasta and sauce in a bowl, nuke it, and pull it out to let it cool off. Then mom walks in and throws a fit because SHE didn't make it for me and that dad apparently told her she was making it wrong last night. So because she was so defeated last night, she took it out on me this morning. And apparently I don't let her do anything for me, which is all she wants to do in life... Well I don't need a slave. And I don't need help. I'm not five, and I can make my own food and wash my own clothes. What parent honestly looks at their adult child and says "I'm crying because you wouldn't let me make you lunch"?

Like shit... I didn't know that me living my life was crushing her world so much. I'm sorry that I'm acting like a mature, independent adult? If you want to baby someone, go baby your grandkids in Philly. I just can't do anything right! She claims we treat her like a maid, which is hilarious given that laundry takes days to get started, she also leaves dishes out, and hires maids to clean the house for her while she lays around every single day just watching Oprah and Dr. Oz. Oh sorry, she works two or three days a week. And then after that she comes home so sore, so exhausted, so mentally beat! Oh what's that? You still want to cry over the fact that I made my own breakfast and didn't ask you to do it for me? You're still gonna cry because I didn't wake you up when I got home at 11:30 PM to make me dinner, even though you left everything out on the stove?!

No wonder I have problems. Anxiety, eh... More like, she's batshit crazy. She can't make up her mind. One day she wants a divorce, and the next she wants to work things out. That's her problem, and I don't want anything to do with it. I've got bigger and better things to focus on right now. Bahhhh. Back to listening to Phantom of the Opera. Oh Christine, you're gonna marry HIM?!

xx Think Of It, A Secret Engagement, Look, Your Future Bride Marz