The Nerve Of Some People

Seriously. People really piss me off.Seriously. People really piss me off.

Faggot #1 can suck my dick for playing me like that. What an asshole for using me and losing me and standing me up for the rest of the summer. Next time I see him, he's a dead man. Alright, more like a scarred man.

And Faggot #2 can just quit his emo whining and get a grip on life. Good God, is there a need to be so stubborn? No means no, and I'm not gonna paint you a fresco to show it. Respect my wishes to be friends and be a man.

Faggot #3 insulted my character. Don't be drawing conclusions and going crazy just because your life sucks. We're two completely different people and it scares me how ballistic you've gone over one little thing. Sorry things didn't go according to plan, but you never asked what I wanted, so sorry that you ended up hurting yourself. I'm not gonna give into your guilt.

Lastly, Faggot #4. I've got a bone to pick with you. I don't appreciate your taking advantage of me, nor the way you've treated me. I'll never forget those words you sent me, no matter how long we continue this "friendship" or where it goes. I'll always remember you and how you changed me.

Yeah. I hate people.

xx Erase My Name From This Page Marz

You Know How I Said 4 Guys?

Make it 5.

Odd one out... I have a boyfriend?!

xx In My Life, I Decide, And It Turns Me On Marz

My Luck Is AMAZING.

I won Jangsara's make up give away.
I have a two hour long art class full of awesome people.
I have fourth period off.
I've made some awesome friends.
I'm making money at work.
I've gotten friendlier with the servers.
I got new three new pairs of awesome shoes.
I designed the band's show shirts.
I've met an awesome guy.

There's probably more I'm leaving out, but I'm too happy to think of them. Senior year is awesome.

xx Passion Tide, An Angel By My Side Marz

When I Draw People

I always elongate the nose if I'm doing a realistic portrait.

No wonder I always look funny in self portraits.

xx Will Someone Please Call A Surgeon Marz

I Love

I love waking up to texts.
I love Dr Pepper after it's sat out for 15 minutes.
I love writing because my handwriting is pretty.
I love laying with my puppy.
I love running my fingertips on paint brush bristles.
I love bundling up when it's cold.
I love statues of angels.
I love chunky jalapeno artichoke dip.
I love jewelry.
I love pretending.
I love being called babe.
I love having rebellious hair.
I love how my summer ended.
I love looking forward to a great year.

xx In The End I Will Always Love You Marz

The Horoscope

Says that my life is awesome right now. It says that I should keep fantasizing about something great in my current life and keep a positive attitude. Not only that, but it says i should go spend money on clothes :)

Yesterday was one of the best ways I could have picked to spend my last Saturday of summer. Waking up early for the garage sale sucked, but I was spending time with my three best friends and making money for the guard. Productive and fun :)

Then I spent the whole day with Karl. We went to the nature preserve, then his house to say hi to mom, then to lunch at Chuy's, then to the Shops at Legacy, then to see Dinner for Schmucks, and then he took me home for work. It was such a spontaneously fun day that I went into work with a good disposition and happy mood.

Which only lasted until he brought his friends up to work! Then all the servers were harrassing me about him because I told them to be nice. The servers are so mean to me sometimes, ha ha. I was working in hyper mode, though. Cleaning like never before! I was sad when he left, but I had closing work to do.

It was kind of nice, though, just sitting at the bar with Matt, Craig, Jeremy, and Bryan. Occassionally Liam, too. but just sitting up there and laughing at the end of the night felt so cool and relaxing. Like the day was winding down...

Until I got home and Annie, Michael, Michael, and I went to go see Scott Pilgrim. I was pretty tired and started falling asleep toward the end. Two movies in one day, jeez!

And now I'm laying in bed on my last day of summer, thinking of my life and how much weirder it's gotten.

And how much better I hope it'll be.

These Show Shirts

Are gonna be super badass.
Not gonna lie.
I am a beast!

So all narcissism aside, today was strange. Like, really strange. I woke up at 7:15 and went to school for practice, only to find that there was no morning practice. Well cool. So I drove home and picked up my sketchbook and took a drive around town, trying to find pretty things to draw. Last stop on my adventure was the cemetery, and I sat down for a good bit drawing a monument.

Forrest calls me and sounded distressed. It's weird that he called me when I was actually awake that early. As if fate wanted it! He came to see me and we sat there in the cemetery as he filled me in on the heartache that is his life. Poor kid, he was cheated out of a good thing. I wish I could have helped him more, but what can you do for the heartache of another?

Then I came home and, truthfully, enjoyed my morning. It was kind of nice being up so early and finding things to do, not to mention that the house was quiet. Just how I like it.

Forrest said people think that I'm more of a girl now. I dress like one and do my makeup like one. And I guess the crazy hair doesn't help, either, because I've felt this horrible wave of confidence with myself and my looks. Not to say that I hated myself before, but I like myself more now. I just want to look good, and if someone likes it, well, job well done on my part. Other than that, I sure don't care! It's my style.

I need to work on my Princess Kraehe outfit. I have the pointe shoes and the tutu, now I just need the crazy bodice piece. HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA PULL THIS ONE OFF?!


xx Don't Try To Fix Me; I'm Not Broken Marz

Practice

Was just awful.

Actually, the day was kind of awful. Woke up at 6:30 to find that we didn't have practice until 12, so flopped over and tried to sleep. Sleep didn't come easily because I had a lot on my mind. Eventually I found it and woke up at 10 to go get my bank account fixed and replace my front plates.

So then practice. I wasn't feeling too hot all day, and one practice started, I just took a turn for the worse. Everything fell apart and Scott even looked at me a few times and asked if anything was wrong or if I was having a bad day.

I said no.

Truthfully, I was having a bad day. Plus I was feeling sick. Plus I'm suffering from a lack of sleep. Plus it's week three and I'm worn out. And plus, I'm super stressed out.

I spent 45 minutes dry heaving in the bathroom and wanting to cry. Today is not my day. I'm going to lay in bed for a bit.

xx And I Thought That You Said Things Were Improving Marz

Two Dates In Two Nights?!

Night One.
Saturday night, Ian picked me up from work with flowers and took me to see Inception. Well we got to the theater early and killed some time by chilling in his car, listening to a song he wrote for me. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, not to mention that it's a damn good song! Then we saw the movie and it was pretty good, but really long. And then it was time for me to go to Heather's because she was worried. Ha ha. It was a really great night :)

Night Two.
Earlier tonight, Karl picked me up and took me out to dinner. His car is really nice and I love his crazy racing driving! Dinner was really nice and we ended up just chatting for hours until we decided to roll out. After a little more crazy driving, we hung out around Castle Hills and chilled by a pond. Then dad said home by ten and I was home by 9:57. I had such a good night tonight! He was super sweet :)

xx And I Don't Wanna Lose You Tonight Marz

I'm New To This Feeling

Heather calls it playing the field, but I'm unsure.

I'm going out to dinner with the guy from Canes. Turns out we go to school together and after jogging my memory, I remembered him from elementary school. Shit, we were even in the same third grade class! He's taking me out Mexican food on Sunday night, so this'll be fun :)

At the same time, I feel really weird because I've been getting close to Ian, and then I get dumped with another person in my life. I suppose there's nothing wrong since I'm not exclusive to anyone, but it still feels really weird. I feel skanky, ha ha. We'll see how this all turns out.

xx Silently We Wander Through This Void Of Consequence Marz

The Most Exraordinary Day Of Summer

- Learned that Mr. Daffinee has a foot fetish
- Almost passed out during outside band
- Went to lunch with Ian
- Had a great afternoon practice due to a heightened mood
- The guy at Cane's asked for my number
- I gave him the wrong number by accident and drove back to fix it
- My car locked/froze up in the middle of the street
- Made the best shirts ever at Sarah's
- Went running with two pieces of pizza in my hand
- Got a lot done on the show shirt

xx A Dresser Drawer Filled With Sweet Love Letters Marz

So I Got To Thinking.

Scary, right?

I dug through up old post I made about my dream guy that I came up with a while back. And as I was going through with it, I was almost scared at how well things were matching up. It's like, some great force out there reads my blog and gave me practically everything I had listed! Of course, there were a few that weren't covered, but they were dumb things that could be easily looked over. Just dumb attributes.

I dunno, it's really weird. I'm not complaining, though! Tomorrow we're even going out on lunch adventures and we'll see if I bash his face inside out. Shit! What am I gonna wear?! Time to go find clothes!

xx And What You Had Meant To Me Could Never Be Forgotten Marz